my Valentine’s gift to myself this year was to be an encounter, a play session, with a Dom from the Northeast USA. He was coming to my area for a marathon race of some sort.… More
It happened! Finally. My FIRST real BDSM hookup/play session with a Dom. But, this wasn’t one, but rather two Doms. The Sir who Dominated my sub ass was the submissive to the other Sir, the primary Dominant. However, my Dom took charge and worked me over really well.
i arranged my safety call with a friend that i would contact as soon as the session ended. He knew if he hadn’t heard from me by a certain time to consider the worst, and to notify the police. He had their phone numbers, addresses, etc. just in case.
When i was clean – inside and out, i left home and drove nervously to Their home. i was instructed via text to park out front, and to text when i’d arrived, and to wait in the car until Sir came out to get me. Suddenly, it began to pour down raining.
Sir motioned for me to come in and as i walked into the extremely large home, SIR said, “don’t be nervous”. That was immensely helpful in relaxing me and alleviating my anxiety…and and fears i might have been harboring.
After 90 minutes of intense impact play – flogging, paddling, spanking and having a riding crop used on my ass, and chest and back impact play with paddles, it progressed to CBT & TT and lots of oral sex and face fucking. Apparently then, Sir placed ten clothes pins on my cock & proceeded to tap, flick, and hit them inducing increasing levels of pain/pleasure. At the same time i experienced intense TT which caused a constant refocusing of attention to alternating areas of intense pain.
The Sirs were very attentive and cognizant of my level of pain asking for a numerical value to gage the intensity. They offered rest breaks and water regularly during the play.
Only once did i kind of loudly say “ouch” as i turned my ass away from the hard strikes of the wooden paddle. SIR said, “is that a yellow?” to which i said sheepishly, “yes.” The intensity of that paddling immediately decreased.
At the end of the session, i was asked how long i’ve been into BDSM. They both were surprised to hear this was my first real BDSM encounter in a non classroom setting. They seemed impressed at the level and intensity of pain i was able to accept.
Hopefully i’ll always remember my initiation into real BDSM play happened on 1-8-18 (one eight one eight)
Thanks for reading,
For some reason lately i seem a bit more popular in the hookup apps. i talk to more men even if it leads nowhere, because they’ve smiled, cruised, winked, or growled at me from the respective sites. And, hot men! Not men i wouldn’t want to be s
een in public with!
On one site for kink and BDSM i was contacted by a Sir a few weeks ago. He and His partner, also a Sir, were/are coming to town for vacation soon. After talking through the site and exchanging pics and lots of information we decided to meet and set a date….and that play date is this coming Monday.
By phone text we’ve discussed safety, safe words, limits, pushing passed limits, and respecting each other’s time as they are here for a brief stay.
We talked about meeting prior to playing but they didn’t feel they had time…or it wasn’t necessary…or something. So, tonight as our play date approaches i contacted Sir again to inquire about meeting beforehand.
He again reiterated that they respect limits, would not do anything beyond my desires, but said they did not have time to meet first before a play session. While i know everyone says you should meet first in a neutral place, i have decided to have a safe call person instead. This person i designate will expect a call – not a text, from me at a time that i choose based on when i think the session will end. He will have my Sir’s address and phone number. Should i NOT call him at that time he will try to call me. If i can not be reached after a couple attempts, he is to notify the police.
I’ve thought a lot about the meet first “rule” in the kink community. And while i think it may be optimal, what really can you discern from a cursory meeting with a potential play patner? People put their best foot forward when meeting someone new in an effort to impress them, make them feel comfortable or to seduce them. But people lie and do misrepresent the truth. Would i really be any safer if i had coffee at Starbucks with them the day before our play session?? i don’t really think so.
The only true way to be safe is to vet a potential play partner through someone in our Leather Kink BDSM community, through a Leather establishment, bar, or leaders of various organizations or clubs. In this particular scenario that was not feasible.
This, if it really happens this time, will be my 1st official, non-Pro Dom paid or classroom associated BDSM full-on encounter. Man, am i fucking psyched about it.
And to add even more excitement to the pile, another Sir from the same site is coming to town in February and wants to play. His picture shows a hot, lean bearded man who says he is a sadist with a foot fetish. So, we shall see what happens with Him.
As an aside, i did have sex last night. Well, i guess i’ll officially say it was sex. He was a Top. Didn’t look much like his profile pic, but not so different as to require me to hit the reject button. Anyway, He was a “lay there, and do me” kinda lazy sex partner. All he did was lay on His back, get blown, and tried in vain to work a dry finger up my butt. We did kiss…he ultimately jerked off and i went home.
Another crappy ass lazy gay man who doesn’t know how to have mutually pleasing and satisfying sex!!
What’s this gay world coming to?
Thanks for reading,
Last week i got an email saying i had received an email message on one of those hookup sites. When i checked the email it was a Dom wanting to meet…me! i checked his profile and saw he is 39, handsome according to the posted picture, and most intriguing – he wanted to meet…..me!
Of course i was skeptical. But i did respond. He said to call him Sir, which i do out of respect for all Doms and Masters. So i had no problem with that. We exchanged email addresses and wrote back and forth till He asked if i had Yahoo Messenger. i did. We’ve talked via email, text or yahoo Messenger several times daily for a week.
He requested i purchase a leather mouth cover/ball gag and provide proof that it was ordered to show i was serious in my search for a Dom. i got a 20% discount code from a separate email about BDSM toys from this same company. With shipping costs it was only $30. And it is quite nice.
For our first in person meeting He said to purchase a BDSM starter contract kit from another company. It would be $310 with 24 hour delivery. i said i didn’t have the money and was reluctant to spend it without having met. Sir said He would split the cost with me.
This morning i couldn’t sleep. i got up at 3 am. Just so happens at 2:53 am Sir sent an email to the man at the company saying He had sent $110.00 and His boy would send $200 later today – via Western Union to someone in Texas to finalize the purchase.
Now i don’t know about you dear readers, but have RED FLAGS gone off?
Who makes a purchase through Western Union? The communication from Him to the company and from the company to him are just gmail accounts that anyone could set up. The company website is a crude wordpress website with little information other than the starter kit…..the contract, a leather dog mask, a leather apron, and a leather thong. Strange collection of “starter” items. And why “starter”? Starter for what? BDSM? A new D/s relationship?
At twenty minutes to five in the morning i have convinced myself that once again i am being scammed. Why indeed would a handsome, 39 year old Dom be so quickly smitten with me, an older man. And, i have no actual proof he really lives in Fort Lauderdale.
We subs, who greatly out number Doms and Masters, must ALWAYS be vigilant in watching for online scams in our near desperate search for our Dom for life or just for play.
Needless to say, he is being blocked!
Thanks for reading,
Living honestly, openly, and true to myself is not easy. Whilst i have had interest and dalliances into the Leather BDSM/Kink/Fetish world over my many years of adulthood, it has been a short stay each time, only to return reluctantly to my vanilla, mainstream lifestyle after each occurrence.
As you may remember from earlier posts i began coming out as a Leather boy 1 1/2 years ago by joining a club for Leather boys. I’ve attended events, demonstrations, meetings, camping events and recently a formal Leather Masked Ball.
Most of these activities have caused varying degrees of discord within the home & relationship. It started with resistance and snide comments about Leather, Leatherfolk, and kinky activities. It has evolved into a quiet tolerance with only the occasional rumpf response to my going out with Leather minded friends.
This brings me full circle to honesty. i have to admit i am not honest and i am in ways a coward. i want to wear my boots and jeans more. I want to go out more to the Leather bar, events and meetings. i want to live a Leather lifestyle however that manifests in my life. i want to be able to hookup/play or just cruise online without hiding and lying.
And i want to…need to admit to my husband that i am not happy and want to separate. But, through therapy and a sizeable amount of investigation i’ve learned he is a narcissist and i am codependent. As a “narc” he lacks empathy and has little to no clue how bad it is for me in the relationship or how much i want a new start. i deeply dread THE conversation, the anger and tears. So i procrastinate. Surpressing my feelings, wants and desires in deference to his – classic codependence.
i have looked at apartments and rooms for rent. i’ve looked into escape plans, a PO Box, a new separate checking account, i’ve developed a budget, and i’ve made a list of the few things i really want from the house when i leave.
Is this all a dream or fantasy i am building in my mind? Will i have the balls to leave?
Will i finally be honest with myself and my spouse, so we both can begin a new chapter in our lives?
i’ll let you know what happens!
Thanks for reading,
The Leather Masked Ball was a well attended soiree with hundreds of Leather Men/boys dressed in all manner of hot, masculine Leather. Shirtless and wearing a tight harness seemed to be the preferred attire for the night. Few attendees actually wore masks though.
The DJ was Chi Chi LaRue playing some classic dance music that never seemed to draw a crowd to the dance floor or whip the men into a dancing frenzy.
My husband went to the Ball with me and seemingly had a pretty good time despite his aversion to everything Leather and BDSM oriented. He was intrigued by the puppies, puppy masks and tails, and fascinated by the information that Leatherwerks occasionally has classes on puppy play. Could he be a would be pup handler?
It was the beginning of Pig Week also. So, i went to a pool party at Inn Leather for my first official pig week activity. i sat naked by the pool in the shade admiring all the other naked men wandering around the resort area and lounging by the pool.
At one point i took a walk around the grounds and heard some noise coming from an alcove behind the locker area. Of course i needed to investigate. my eyes widened as i watched about 10 guys going at it in one big jumble of man meat. Hands, mouths, dicks and asses all seemed to be connected from one body to the next.
i watched a few minutes. Didn’t get turned on or even hard. So i left the alcove, kinda bored, but also feeling sexually inadequate. i went back to my chair by the pool. A guy approached. Offered a BJ. i accepted, but wasn’t turned on or sufficiently hard so i excused myself, dressed and went home.
Another night i attended a rope bondage class taught by two hot Men. After the class the attendees were directed to another room where a “play party” was starting. The party was likely going to be non-kinky sex play only. Instead of the play party i walked about 6 blocks to the Ramrod Bar. Four beers later i took Uber to the Clubhouse II, a gay male bathhouse. Being pig week it was supposed to be packed. But it wasn’t. i left about 3 am without having sex and took Uber home.
What i seemed to have learned is that i am not a Pig, at least not in a group setting. i am not ready to be sexually active because of physical limitations. And i feel like i must be the only gay man who can go to a bathhouse and not have sex with anyone.
i did have a Dom lined up for a BDSM play scene during pig week. He was from out of town and texted me on arrival in Fort Lauderdale. It was only then that W/we discovered that neither one of us could host. Another lost opportunity.
Not a pig! But if i hadn’t tried i would never have found out. i am putting myself out there in the community more, and making more connections. And, that my friends is the name of the game.
Thanks for reading,
It’s good to be a Leather boy this week in Fort Lauderdale. Tonight, November 25th, is the 12th annual Leather Masked Ball being held at Progress Bar. It is well attended by Leathermen and Leather boys of all types, and i am guessing lots of Leather women, straights and gays, and a smattering of vanilla folks gawking.
The Ball is produced by the Lambda Men’s Brotherhood, Inc. It will star DJ Chi Chi LaRue and feature an exhibition by the Leather Archives & Museum Chicago as well as BDSM demonstrations. There will also be a Best Masked contest with $175 Bar Tab prizes from Ramrod.
Every year for at least the last 8 to 10 years my husband and i toyed with the idea of going. That was even before he knew how much i wanted, yearned to be in the Leather community. This year he said let’s go. We bought our tickets and masks yesterday.
Before i post this Blog i’ll include a post script about how the Leather Masked Ball was, and how my vanilla partner reacts to various aspects of the night, especially the BDSM demonstrations.
The other event that makes this a great time to be a guy in Fort Lauderdale is that it is the beginning of our annual Pig Week. Many of you may be wondering what is a “pig” in the context of grown men. If you like drinking, dancing, and fucking then you are a PIG! And we in Fort Lauderdale want to meet you! This event is designed for all hot men in the world to cum together and play. There are pool parties, play parties, nude resort and beach days, and educational programs and demonstrations on fisting, watersports, sounding, and rope bondage. But, most of all it’s about welcoming men from all over the world to our city, showing it off, and showing them a really, really good time.
i have never participated in Pig Week before either. But, i told my husband i was going and bought my $100 dog tag before he could lodge a protest. The dog tag is my admission ticket to all events. Without it there is a $25 fee charged at the door of most of the events, and no admission to others.
Today i plan to attend a clothing optional pool/play party at a local leather themed resort where there is a sling in every room. Hopefully, it will be a great turnout since the weather is predicted to be beautiful, at a comfortable temperature, and with no rain in the forecast.
Sunday Morning Synopsis
Yesterday afternoon i took Uber to the Inn Leather resort for one of the pigweek events. It was a men only, clothing optional pool party. Most of the men walked around nude, seemingly proud of their bodies in all the glorious shapes, sizes and colors they come in. There didn’t appear to be any penis shame either. Penis varieties were from really small to “O my God, you’re going to put that where?” I think there must have been around 75 of us there.
Leather Masked Ball
It was hot, hot hot! Leather men came from everywhere including out of the closet for this annual event. Hundreds of masculine men turned out to see and be seen and to get their party on at Progress Bar. Some men wore masks, but most didn’t. The wafting of cigar smoke had us continually on the move for a better spot. An abundance of hairy and smooth asses were exposed for our pleasure; an occasional erect penis would pop out of a jock to the delight of everyone in the vicinity. The music, while good, was not up to the caliber expected from the guest DJ.
To my surprise my husband was fascinated by puppies and puppy play. He says he wants to take a class about it at Leatherwerks next time it’s offered.
i believe it was a great event and quite successful financially and in attendance.
Thanks for reading,
i have not filtered my posts much in the year i’ve been blogging, so this one, while being difficult to write, will expose my deepest fear, sadness, shame, anxiety and embarrassment about my cock.
Y/you may be wondering why i would do it then. Fuck. i don’t know. I drew a blank at first. But really, i think it is a very common issue faced by many men over age 40 – ED – Erectile Dysfunction, the scurge of manhood and the most dreaded thing that could happen…but sharing my tale of woes may help other men. i hope so.
i’ve been dealing with this shit for years. It started subtly with occasional loss of erections during sexual encounters. Then, it became more noticeable so treatment was sought. That’s when the little blue pill, Viagra, was available.
Viagra worked great for years. Then, the effects waned a bit. Then, i tried Cialis, but it induced severe, long-lasting backache. The next pill, Levitra, didn’t really work for me. Years passed with varying degrees of firmness and sexual satisfaction/dissatisfaction and performance anxiety.
About 3 years ago i graduated to “the shot” – Trimix. It is a mixture of three medications that is injected into the side of the penis near the base. It worked! It gives me a big, full, swollen, and red hardon that starts within minutes of the injection, but only lasts 1 – 1 1/2 hours. So, i have to know without a doubt that i am going to have sex, and there can be no prolonged foreplay or the erection may be gone before my partner and i get off.
No, the shot doesn’t really hurt. It does take a bit of psyching myself up before sticking the needle in. Every time after ejaculation my dick hurts. The swelling remains for about 12 to 18 hours so my dick is big but soft.
For a year now i’ve been looking into the Priapus Shot (P Shot) for the treatment of ED. i’ve consulted with 3 physicians. The procedure is safe and fairly simple. They draw my blood. Spin it in a centrifuge to separate the solid components from the plasma. The plasma contains growth factors that when injected back into the penis causes a rejuvenation of tissues and hopefully a return of functioning. A vaccuum pump is provided and a regimen of daily pumping is required for maximum benefit. Also, some men may need an added jolt with the addition of a boner pill, which is supposed to work better after the P-Shot.
The downside, and it’s a big one – the going rate is $1900.00. Can you imagine forking over nearly 2k and injecting it into your dick? Each of the 3 doctors with whom i consulted were charging the full $1900.00.
Last month i saw an ad in a gay publication for an Anti Aging Aesthetic physician’s practice. They were offering the P Shot for $1500 during October. While finding that much money was not going to be easy it was an offer i couldn’t pass up.
Today i had the procedure done. i was there nearly two hours. The blood was spun down for 90 minutes. i was given 5 injections in my penis. One on each side at the base. One on each side mid shaft. And finally one in the center just behind the head. It didn’t hurt because i applied a numbing cream when i first arrived.
Tonight i have a plump dick. Somewhat impressive.
We’ll see how things progress. i’ll update Y/you periodically. Stay tuned
Thanks for reading,
i felt great for the Surge weekend. The drive went quickly even though the rain poured down most of the afternoon, and one of the smaller county roads called Snake Road seemed to follow the path of a slithering snake.
my cabin was fantastic, BUT the torrential rain left huge pools of water everywhere which made walking around to the pool and shower room a challenge. Soon after arriving i stepped off the porch to go pee and sunk ankle deep in water. My tennis shoes were ruined.
The Leather atmosphere was comfortable and i thoroughly enjoyed dressing in tight jeans and Leather both nights. The guys were friendly, the drinks cheap, the men hot, and the BDSM demos were titillating.
But, alas, i didn’t hookup or play with anyone. i was a fucking horny dog so i pulled out my array of toys, poppers, party pills, etc., and had a good time in that King sized bed by myself.
Will i go next time? Yay…maybe. i think if i could get some boys from my club to go it would be even more fun. It was an exceptional clothing optional, Leather/BDSM positive weekend at a gay campground in the wilds of South Florida.
Thanks for reading,
A couple months ago a Leather Sir contacted (cruised) me on recon.com. W/we messaged back and forth for a couple weeks and made a date to play after extensive dialogue about preferred activities, & soft and hard limits. He was completely honest that his primary interest was anal fisting. And i was totally forthcoming about my bout with anal cancer last year and my inability to submit to more than aggressive finger fucking due to scarring and easily torn tissues. Sir acknowledged my plight, and agreed again to meet, so O/our play date was reconfirmed.
The night before our play date, Sir texted my phone that He had sudden, unexpected, out of town company staying with Him, and would therefore need to cancel the date. He also said He was leaving the country for nearly a month, but that W/we would definitely set another date upon His return.
So, on the fifteenth of September, the day Sir was due back, i emailed Him, and W/we re-established O/our online conversation. W/we set another date to meet for play. But, His questions to me seemed to show a lack of memory of O/our previous conversations about O/our likes, preferences, and hard limits. i repeated my medical history and again disclosed my fears regarding fisting. However, despite that hard limit, Sir continued to say He wanted to meet. He even listed a number of other activities He enjoys that W/we could do. Another date was set for the near future.
A few days before O/our 2nd planned (and my much anticipated and needed) play date Sir contacted me saying His activity of preference is Anal Fisting. And since i was not able to do that one thing He canceled our date. i simply wrote back, “ok”.
Not getting fisted was a deal breaker! Or was it an excuse? Is His BDSM repertoire that limited?
Have any of Y/you, my readers, ever experienced this Y/yourselves? Is Y/your preferred activities list that short? If so, how do Y/you ever find another person to play with?
Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are definitely things i greatly enjoy, and others that can be done that i might just like a bit…that i can take or leave. But to require every SIR to do one particular thing to me, or it’s not happening, just seems arbitrarily self limiting, and is a way of keeping most Sir’s away.
Personally i keep trying to expand my “Will Do” list of activities in order to attract more attention, and to be more appealing to a greater number of gay, masculine, Dominent, Top men in my area.
Write in and tell me if Y/you have a required activity during BDSM Play, or the session gets canceled. What is that activity, and why so important to Y/your play?
Thanks for reading,
It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.
Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities. And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.
As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days. On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck. The post operative pain was excruciating. Not the incision…it’s been perfect. The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms. i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.
So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.
Details to follow after i return from Surge.
Thanks for reading,