Surge – a Leather Weekend

It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.

Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities.  And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.

As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days.  On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck.  The post operative pain was excruciating.  Not the incision…it’s been perfect.  The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms.  i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.

So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.

Details to follow after i return from Surge.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Advertisements

While the Cat’s Away, the mouse Might Play

my husband is out of town with friends enjoying a huge gay annual event (Gay Days in Orlando) filled with sun, pool parties, evening activities, concerts, and yes, probably lots of sex!!

But i am fine with that.  In fact i encouraged him to go so i could have some free time to go out and immerse myself into the Leather BDSM and Kink community. And maybe, just maybe, i will hookup with a Dom for a play scene.

my first free night was Thursday.  i planned my night, cleaned up – inside and out – just in case, and dressed in nice jeans, leather themed black tee shirt, and my leather bar vest.  

Uber got me to the bar between 9:30 and 10 pm.  i know…kinda early, but it was a school/work night.  i thought men would be out early.  The bar’s theme night was a “bulge” contest at midnight.  Surely i could moderate my drinking, cruise hot leather men, and socialize till the contest began.

As i walked into the Ramrod i saw the bar was sparsely populated, but there was a cute “Bear” seated across the bar.  He gave me The Look!  So i situated myself a couple seats from him and ordered a beer.

Mistake!

He was a BIG talker.  He was a bottom.  He said he wanted to suck my dick and have me spank him.  He was really drunk.  He did buy me a beer and a shot of bourbon.  Then, he suddenly leaned/fell toward me and stuck his tongue in my mouth.  Hmm.  What to do? Am i desperate?

Then, his partner arrived and i took the opportunity to hurriedly excuse myself.  

Friday night i pondered three choices.  i thought of going to a kind of fun, but seedy neighborhood bar, or to the a gay men’s sex club, or to a bathhouse catering to more mature men.  Friday was all about getting laid!

So, i ended up watching the last two episodes of The Amazing Race on Cable that i had missed.  And i was in bed by 11:30 pm.

i started writing this post this morning, Saturday, 6/3/17, which will likely show as the post date.  However, i have two more free nights of planned debauchery. 

Tonight there is an extremely popular monthly themed party at the Leather bar, The Ramrod, called Pig Dance. i AM going!  i AM going!  i will have to take a bar nap this afternoon so i am not to tired to go.  But, i AM going!  That’s my mantra for today.

The last Pig Dance i attended a few months ago had hundreds of hot men in all manner of dress and undress – from full Leather down to just a jock and boots.  They were all ages probably 20 to 80s, bears and twinks, hairy and smooth.  It was a smorgasbord of man meat.

i have no doubt the bar will again be packed to the rafters and even spilling out into the rear patio and the front parking lot.  It’s a dizzying aroma of sweat, male sex pheromones, booze, and cigarette & cigar smoke.  And the cacophony of thumping music and loud conversations will be deafening. But what fun.  The atmosphere is highly sexual and energizing. 

i went!  It was crowded and loud and smoky.  It was everything I expected.  But, i, i, was so uncomfortable in my own skin, in my own Leather, that i had one beer, walked around once and left about thirty minutes later.  Then, i took Uber to another bar, a small neighborhood bar, but it is actually situated in a commercial area.  It was busy.  When i walked in all the guys turned to see the new meat arrival.  i was cruised by a couple guys, but again i was bored and went home after about forty five minutes.

my mood and self esteem were low.  i wasn’t really sure i wanted to go out and probably shouldn’t have.  But, to counter the loneliness and insecurity I could have/should have asked one of my buddies to go with me.  But i didn’t!  

Those little tapes that play over and over in our heads sure can fuck up an otherwise great time.  

Sunday was my Leather boy’s club meeting.  i went and was upbeat and talkative.  Short meeting.  A couple of us went for a drink.  Enjoyed myself.  i thought i might go to a sex club Sunday night but didn’t – i shall tell Y/you why in my next post! 

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer this post.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Two Ways to Finding Y/your Authentic Self 

Becoming authentic is an individual mission, since each person has their own way of being human, and consequently what is authentic will be different for each individual. Furthermore, personal authenticity is highly contextual, and depends on various social, political, religious and cultural characteristics. But the unique nature of each individual is best seen not in who he is, but in who he becomes, and becoming authentic is a continuous process, not an event. It involves not just knowing oneself, but also recognizing others and the mutual influence between individuals. If the quest for personal authenticity is just for self-fulfillment, then it is individualistic and ego-based; but if it is accompanied with the awareness of others and the wider world, then it can be a worthwhile goal.     From Philosophy Now

Have you ever pondered, “who am I/i really?”  “Who is M/my authentic self?”

Well, i have many times over the years.  It seems as we grow and change, our relationships evolve or end, we move, and find new careers and new lovers, our authentic self changes too.  Authenticity seems to be a hard and never ending quest because people are continually evolving, growing and changing.

Finding Y/your authentic self is about being honest with Y/yourself, being self aware, being humble, and listening to feedback from others without getting hurt or defensive, and then internalizing the feedback that resonates with Y/you.  Those of Y/you who do seek a more authentic self will likely become a happier, and more creative person.  Also, some psychologists say authenticity can lead to improved coping strategies, a stronger sense of self worth, more self confidence, and a higher likelihood of following through on goals.

Don Miguel Ruiz writes in his book The Four Agreements that “our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

As soon as i read that statement i immediately thought about those of U/us living or attempting to live O/our authentic selves, what W/we really are – or are into (KINK or BDSM).  W/we in the Leather BDSM community reportedly have healthier relationships because of the degree to which we have open, honest communication between the people involved prior to establishing a formal relationship or agreeing to a play session.  For there to be open and honest communication Y/you hopefully have done some sort of personal inventory of Y/your life identifying Y/your wants, needs, desires, likes, preferences, and goals, as well as those things Y/you want to avoid, not experience or exclude from Y/your life.

In order for Y/you to begin identifying and understanding Y/your most significant personal values, i have included the list and exercises below:

Step 1: What I/i Value Most…

From this list of values (both work and personal), select the ten that are most important to Y/you – as guides for how to behave or as components of a valued way of life.  Feel free to add any values of Y/your own to the list.

Achievement                                                                Friendships                           Physical challenge

Advancement and promotion                                  Growth                                   Pleasure

Adventure                                                                     Having a family                  Power and authority

Affection (love and caring)                                       Helping other people         Privacy

Arts                                                                                Helping society                   Public service

Challenging problems                                               Honesty                                Purity

Change and variety                                                   Independence                    Quality of what I take part in

Close relationships                                                   Influencing others             Quality relationships

Community                                                                Inner harmony                  Recognition (respect from others, status)

Competence                                                               Integrity                             Religion

Competition                                                              Intellectual status             Reputation

Cooperation                                                              Involvement                     Responsibility and accountability

Country                                                                     Job tranquility                  Security

Creativity                                                                 Knowledge                         Self-Respect

Decisiveness                                                            Leadership                         Serenity

Democracy                                                              Location                              Sophistication

Ecological awareness                                           Loyalty                                 Stability

Economic security                                                Market position                 Status

Effectiveness                                                         Meaningful work              Supervising others

Efficiency                                                              Merit                                    Time freedom

Ethical practice                                                    Money                                 Truth

Excellence                                                             Nature                                 Wealth

Excitement                                                           being around people who
are open and honest        Wisdom 

Fame                                                                       Order (tranquility,

stability, conformity)             Work under pressure 

Fast living                                                            Personal development                                                     Work with others

Financial gain                     

Freedom                                                                                                                                                            Working alone

Step 2: Elimination

Now that Y/you have identified ten, imagine that Y/you are only permitted to have five values. Which five would Y/you give up? Cross them off.

Now imagine that Y/you are only permitted four. Which would Y/you give up? Cross it off.

Now cross off another, to bring Y/your list down to three.

And another, to bring Y/your list down to two.

Finally cross off one of Y/your two values. Which is the one item on the lst that Y/you care most about?

Another way of identifying Y/your authentic self, is to ask Y/yourself the following five questions:

  1. When Y/you were little, what did Y/you want to be when Y/you grew up?   W/we all had dreams when W/we were little, but people get sidetracked from T/their dreams by status, money, responsibility and life.  Picture Y/yourself in Y/your childhood dream.  Do Y/you see that smile and positive energy?  That could be Y/your life.
  2. What makes Y/you laugh?  Laugh at what Y/you find funny.  Who cares if the person next to Y/you is laughing.  Laughing feels good, makes U/us happier people and sets U/us free to enjoy the life W/we are living.  Laughter is a powerful tool that can change Y/your mood and perception of what is happening in the moment.  Enjoy the smile and the feeling of happiness rising inside of Y/you.
  3. What clothes do Y/you feel comfortable in?  This is a serious question.  It doesn’t matter if Y/you like dressing in suits every day or prefer cotton shirts and no shoes, wear what makes Y/you feel comfortable.  i am not suggesting Y/you run naked through the streets or Y/your office, but clothes are a way of expressing Y/yourself and what Y/you wear should be comfortable and should reflect the true Y/you.
  4. What activities do Y/you enjoy?  Discovering these activities will help guide Y/you towards a place where Y/you want to spend time.  By finding and immersing Y/yourself in this place, Y/you will feel happier and more energized.  Ultimately Y/you may find that Y/you want to work in that place, or at least create the possibility to spend more time there.
  5. Who can Y/you be Y/yourself around?  W/we are social creatures by nature, so it is important to spend time with people who make U/us feel good and accept U/us for who W/we really are.  When W/we are with people who do not judge U/us but accept U/us, then W/we are able to express O/our authentic self.

Once Y/you discover Y/your authentic self, Y/you can start to make changes in Y/your life that allow Y/you to be this person.  It is time to face those fears and start Y/your journey toward being Y/your authentic self.  Y/you will be astounded by how Y/your life can become fuller, richer, and happier.                   (Edited from http://www.mindbodygreen.com)

i have changed over the years but one thing has remained a constant even though for years it was a closeted self, so i can’t claim to have been living my authentic self.  That is my love and affinity and passion for the Leather BDSM/KINK community.  In my closet Days my fantasy men were leather clad masculine Doms.  i enjoyed it when a partner was more aggressive, rough, or Dominant.  i was really turned on by the slaps to the ass some men would deliver.  i knew who my authentic self was i was just not able to let him out at the time for various reasons.

my responses to the questions above:

i like men in leather and uniforms; i feel comfortable in Levi’s, boots, leather; i enjoy and feel more comfortable in masculine atmospheres like Leather bars and Leather BDSM gatherings and events; i like BDSM & Kink & Fetish activities; and i can most be myself – my real, authentic self around other Leather BDSM Men/boys.

Late Night Musings

It’s 4:30 am.  Can’t sleep!  my mind is flooded with thoughts.  Why so much drama in all circles and aspects of life?  Not just mine. It seems everyone has drama or that there is always someone who stirs the drama pot for everyone around them.

i heard something yesterday about “someone” in another Leather club is making disparaging remarks about the boys of Leather club I belong to.  Anything negative about my club has to be an out and out lie because, although small, we raise funds and donate quite a bit of money to different non-profit agencies and organizations that provide services to children, animals, various illnesses including HIV/AIDS, and the Leather Archives and Museum.  We are a small, but cohesive group.  And i think most of us actually likes each other.

As a boys club we are by definition all boys.  we can’t or don’t offer BDSM play in or as a part of our meetings.  After all, who would be the Dom?  However, the other club does periodically offer demonstrations and play because their membership includes both boys and Doms.  i have been trying to become a member of that club as well, but it’s been a hard nut to crack.  So, i may just proudly stay a boys club member only.

The other day my boys club sponsored a team building, fun activity at an Escape Room.  It seems these are becoming popular all over the country.  This particular place offered four different themed rooms to choose from.  Our room involved a series of murders.  We were “locked” in a room for sixty minutes during which time we had to find and evaluate various clues, which, if done correctly, moved us closer to our goal of escaping.  Nine of us went, two emerged as principle or primary clue finders and decipherers.  i, for the most part, was left scratching my head.  i had difficulty connecting the dots.  Anyway, we did escape with 5 whole seconds to spare.  It was quite fun.  Leaders and followers emerged quickly.  One was a bit daffy.  One got irritable with the daffy boy.  But most worked together pretty well.  we emerged with glowing reviews and laughter, each saying they’d like to do it again.

It’s been just a week since i returned from my BDSM workshop.  It is quickly fading into memory with a return to real life.  The glow of the weekend and the intense sensation play are dimming.  i long for a repeat.  i long for something semi-permanent.  To be of service, to service, to offer myself for the gratification of Another…  However, i haven’t contacted the Dom i played with a couple weeks ago.  Too many things were obstacles for me, i suppose. The primary reason was the fact that the Dom was a sexual bottom.  my exclusionary criteria is low, but i do insist my Dom be a sexual Top.  i bottom.  That’s what i do.  That’s who i am!  

i keep thinking i will write about Abuse in Relationships, and i will.  Soon.  i just need to plant my feet securely to the ground once again.

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 28

Has your submission ever let you down? 
Yes it has.  submissives are a dime a dozen.  Most of the posts on FetLife and Recon.com are from submissives.  In that way my submission lets me down.  It would be so much easier to hookup, find a long term partner or have play sessions if only i was a Dom.  But, it is not my nature.  So, i continue to wait, update my profile and pictures, and try to integrate more into the Leather BDSM community.



Have you ever been criticized for your submission? 
The only real criticism i have received is the one i told Y/you about before.  It was the story of the guy on the hookup site bullying me because i choose to call myself a “boy”.  i retaliated and then blocked him.  Probably should have just let it go, but i didn’t.


Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? 
i have no regrets for being a bottom or submissive.  i have had great sex and some interesting events related to my being submissive.  Just a quick anecdote: we hosted a couple of gay Puerto Rican soccer players in town for a tournament. They spoke little to no English and i spoke no Spanish, but after my partner went to work the next morning one of the men came to my bedroom, got in the bed nude and proceeded to fuck the daylights out of me.  He was good looking and hung, uncut.  He sensed or somehow knew that i was a submissive bottom boy and would gladly allow him to do as he pleased.


Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Oh, certainly.  i have made plenty of mistakes over the course of my life.  And continue to.  Each mistake or lapse in judgment was an opportunity to learn and grow…and hopefully to not make the same or even similar mistakes.  Several of those mistakes i have posted about over these past few months.  If Y/you are interested in learning from my poor choices, Y/you can read back through my earlier posts.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Sometimes, especially when in the company of non Leather folks, i get twinges of sub shame and embarrassment.  At times, not too often, but occasionally i feel judged or pigeonholed as a leather sub who is passive, used, abused, and having no choice or say in what “happens” to me in a BDSM dynamic.  i don’t feel like going into educator mode explaining about roles, choices, contracts, negotiations, limits, safe words, and just admitting that the things that are “done” to me are done with my permission because all BDSM activities are between consenting adults.

As far as being resistant to an aspect of being a submissive i feel a bit of ambivalence regarding subs into piss and scat.  i described my foray into play parties last week, but the one thing i don’t think i mentioned was the piss boy who was stationed in the restroom.  he stayed in there the whole night and was given a donation of $5 by each person who wanted to piss on him or have him “drink from the tap.”  i really had to piss bad by the time i left the party, but I would not #1 pay $5 to pee, and #2 pee on someone who spent the whole night serving as a toilet.  i like the idea of 1:1 piss play but not in a situation like that.  Part of me felt sad for him, but i have to remember and remind myself from time to time that his kink is not my kink, but his kink is ok! 

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

i think I am a happy, joyful submissive.  i am a long term service oriented caregiving professional having worked in healthcare for many years.  In ways that profession is one of submissiveness. Wanting to do for and care for others!   A service oriented submissive.  To put myself second – behind the person who is most important – whether that person is a Dom, or a patient.  To take care of someone well is a source of pride, satisfaction, and joy for me.  It instills a deeper sense of self worth and self esteem.

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays

This week I thought i would delve into a few things that tend to instill fear and anxiety in me, but nevertheless are intriguing.

Fire Play

Fire has been a fascination for me since i my days as a child bedwetter.  i would set different things on fire usually in the bathroom sink so I could quickly and easily dispose of the burning embers and ashes.  Thankfully i outgrew that without burning down the house.

Not long ago i observed a Fire Play demonstration at the local Leather bar.  The Dom was an expert at lighting afire various locations on the sub’s body.  It seemed fairly safe because He extinguished the flame within seconds.  i assumed that allowed for intense heat without actually burning the flesh.  There was redness afterward but the sub didn’t complain of lingering pain and no superficial burns were obvious.

If i were to do this i would make absolutely sure the Dom was a Master at fire play.  


Cigar Play

i have observed cigar play several times.  It involves the cigar the Dom happens to be smoking.  The sub was bound each time with his arms over his head and his feet spread apart – also bound.  The lit cigar was carefully brought closer and closer to the skin, first the nipples, then the chest and abdomen.  With the first sub the Dom touched the cigar to the sub’s metal nipple rings then to the metal PA jewelry in the sub’s cock.  The sub squealed with delight at the pain being induced. It was the same Dom in each of the cigar play demonstrations.  So, He was quite adept at this kind of play.  i would trust him to “light me fire” so to speak.  Someday i hope to experience this with that Dom.  

Knife Play

i was completely unaware of knife play until a coworker mentioned to several of us that one of His things was knife play.  I was immediately drawn to him, and to the subject at hand.  i was intrigued, and yet i also felt a twinge of fear at the prospect of having a knife held to my skin by a hot, hung, masculine Dominant.  i even contemplated a small cut here and there.  i suppose that gets into blood play.  Knife play i assume is more about total submission, inducement of fear, and equating that with the sexual component.

Gun Play

This is probably one of the activities i would NOT consent to doing.  i have a strong dislike and fear of guns.  i grew up with lots of them in the home, but i have seen the effects of accidental discharge of guns, and the aftermath of intentional shooting of innocent victims.  i know that even when the person handling the gun “knows” it has no bullets they have discharged, striking and injuring or killing people including children.  i fear accidentally being shot!

Breath Control

i cannot submit to breath control either.  i use to be able to hold my breath for a fairly long time, but after several bouts of pneumonia my lung capacity has diminished.  Also, the extreme difficulty breathing i had with each episode of pneumonia there was severe shortness of breath, so the thought of having my breathing restricted or controlled by another person is frightening to me.  i even have trouble with a gag of any kind shoved into my mouth.  This is a strong phobia for me.  

Rape/Abduction 

A seasoned Dom told me once that rape/abduction/gang bang scenerios were the most commonly verbalized fantasies of most submissives.  i too have dreamed of being wanted by someone so much that i would totally submit to being abducted and repeatedly “raped” even though it would be consensual Play.  Also, i have wanted to be desired so much that many hot Men would line up waiting their turn to pump me full of their cum while other men held me down.

However the Dom who told me that also said it is extremely hard for this type of scenario to be planned and executed.  Too many players involved for it to be adequately carried out.  Then there is the liability involved if there is an injury, or if the sub claims it was forced and non consensual.  But a boy can dream, can’t he?

Confinement/Caging

i suppose Y/you could call me a scaredy cat since i seem to fear lots of BDSM activities.  And again, while i would like to get rid of my fears, and submit to being confined or caged, i have trouble trusting anyone enough to give up that much freedom of movement.  i fear being caged and having the Dom turn out to be a psycho, or that he has a heart attack or stroke with no keys readily available for escape.  i realize the likelihood of that happening is remote, I still harbor those fears.
i would urge you to be very careful about hooking up with new Doms and submitting to any kind of edge play like the ones i briefly described above.  Always err on the side of caution.  If He is a reputable Dom He will want to play with you when a strong bond of trust develops between Y/you two.

Dungeon Party or Sex Party

Y/you may remember that i mentioned i was going to my first Dungeon Party.  Well it happened last night.  

i was excited but trying to not have too many unreasonable expectations.  i tried to be ok with playing or not playing…whatever happened would be okay.  i got dressed in my usual leather…boots, belt, vest, wrist band, 501 Levi jeans, and my hunter green bandana – right, back jeans pocket.   The look is complete!  Fresh haircut so i looked good and ready for my debut into the world of Dungeon Parties.

Since my club was co-sponsoring i got there early to help set up the bar and patio area.  An assortment of men started arriving 30-40 minutes before opening time.  But, where were the handsome, masculine Doms?  But, it did look like it would be a good turnout. 

i was excited to watch the Men arrive in all manner of dress and undress.  Since most of them were only wearing jocks, harnesses and boots it was hard to tell the Doms from the subs…or as i found out later, it was hard to tell the tops from the bottoms.  No flags because no back pockets.   Wrist and arm bands seemed only for decoration. Who were the Doms?  Where were the Doms?

i stayed on the patio area for a couple hours before i built up my confidence and courage to make a foray into the “dungeon”.  All i saw was plain ole sex.  Sucking, fucking, rimming. Where was the BDSM? Was a Dungeon party simply a sex party? Of course i watched a while taking in all the images.  But it didn’t really turn me on.  i was mostly frustrated.

Surprisingly most of the Men there were my age plus or minus 10 years.  The exception was a handsome, young sub that took his clothes off and got up in a sling.  Quickly he was surrounded by a sea of horny guys wanting to have their turn with him. There were erections that never went down — umm, chemically induced?  Nothing wrong with that, but a constant erection for hours is interesting to see and watch. Envious?  Maybe i was?  Yup, i was!

When i came out from my excursion there was a boy bound to the cross. The Dom was using a cigar to stimulate the sub’s nipples, his chest and abdomen. Then he began tapping the boy’s balls with a paddle alternating the intensity with each tap.  After a while the boy was turned around, re-bound to the cross and the flogging and spanking began. Very exciting to watch but felt a bit envious of the boy. Shoulda been me!

Later i learned that was one of two Demos.  The second demo was a really intense flogging and paddling scene. The sub stripped down to his jock and boots and was flogged and paddled for what seemed like a very long time.  In fact i got tired and decided to go home.  It was only 11:15 pm.  As i walked toward my car i could still hear that sub’s moans of pain & pleasure.

The next day i asked if all the Dungeon Parties at this venue were like this one.  The answer was yes, “they are mostly about the sex.”  “There are a lot of guys who come just for the sex.  That’s they’re thing.  They’re not into the BDSM at all.”

Sad.  Disappointed.  Where were the “real” Leather BDSM lifestyle Men/boys?

The search continues…

Come Out, come out, Wherever Y/you Are!

Happy Gay Pride, Fort Lauderdale.

Today was Gay Pride here in the city by the sea.  And a beautiful day it was.  Sunny, warm, a nice breeze and just an estimated 40,000 people celebrating on the beach together.  Perfect day.  Tons of hot men…and women, if you swing that way.

But ya know what?  i was perhaps the only one wearing a leather oriented tee shirt.  Plus i wore a leather wrist band, right side, of course.

Where, oh where, have all the Leathermen gone?  You weren’t out in numbers.  You weren’t out as small cohesive clusters as United Leathermen.  Oh, i saw a few guys in harnesses.  Were they “into” leather, or was it simply a fashion accessory to go with their Speedo swimsuits and big bulges?

There were big, burley, hairy dudes, average hairless dudes, and many twinks twerking.  Lots of ink on hot bodies.  But, several bars actually ran out of liquor mid afternoon.  Now, that’s got to be a first.  How’s a gay person supposed to party with NO booze?  Well, there was that continual wafting of smoke from joints to keep the buzz going.

We danced and danced amid a huge crowd on the dance floor erected on the sand.  All manner of humanity, together, moving to the music.

One performer was Ty Herndon, a country star from years ago.  He had a public fall from grace, but picked himself up, pulled his jeans up, put on his “cowboy” boots and came out as a “proud, gay man!”  Handsome and masculine.  Great voice.  He was so close i could have licked the sand off his boots.  But, i maintained my composure (and avoided a stalking charge) by just lusting from afar, and taking a hell of a lot of photos.

But, back to my Leather comrades…where the hell were you?  Didn’t want to get sand in Y/your boots?

Ok, so maybe Y/you were there, but not in leather.  It was a hot day.  But why no tee shirts saying, “Top” “bottom” “Daddy” “boy” “Sir” “Bear” “cub” “Ramrod” (oh, that’s right, i wore that shirt), “Leatherwerks “?

i felt so Leather lonely today.  

But, there’s always Stonewall Pride held in June in the east coast gay Mecca of Wilton Manors.  There will be a parade with a marching contingent from the Gay Leather community.  An abundance of harnesses, arm bands, Leather vests and belts and boots. Waves of Leather Pride flags bellowing in the wind.  Lots of hot sweaty skin showing.  501 jeans, shorts and some kilts.  Makes me swoon just visualizing that scene…

The thousands of people lining Wilton Drive will scream and cheer in solidarity with the Leathermen and leatherboys as they march by.  Then, many spectators will whisper, “I don’t get that whole thing…”  But why is it imperative that they get it, or understand us?  They should just accept us for who W/we are and what W/we do, and love U/us for O/our uniqueness.  i don’t understand Transgender men and women, but i see their beauty, their uniqueness, and i identify with their struggle for acceptance for who they are.  i struggle for acceptance of my leather identity even within the walls of my own home.

Be Proud!  Be Out!  Be Seen in Y/your Leather.  Raise Awareness, and Celebrate!

See Y/you in June 2017 – Wilton Manors, Florida?  I’ll be there. Will Y/you?
Thank Y/you for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 22

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Yes i believe a submissive can feel submissive even without a Dominant partner.  i always feel and try to portray my submissive nature.  It may be in some small ways, but it is ever present in my mind and actions.  Now that does not mean i am run over by people, taken advantage of, disrespected, or that i am not assertive in some situations.  

i mentioned before that i wear a leather bracelet on my right wrist as a sign that i am a leather oriented bottom boy.  i might have a key clip or have a hunter green bandana in my right back jeans pocket and wearing a Leather themed T shirt to denote my interest and position.   Being a sub means showing respect so i always say “please” “thank you” and i say “Sir” a lot even to younger men.  i now say “may i…” rather than “can i…” because i feel it expresses verbally my submission.    Also, i said in a post just the other day that i stand in a submissive way nearly all the time.  It is a constant reminder of submission.

Other ways of expressing my submission is by writing this blog.  There are so many ideas, thoughts, experiences, questions, doubts, and desires in me that need an outlet and this is a way of expressing my submission through words.  Another example is that a small group of us from the boy’s Leather club meet for coffee every week or two.  we talk openly in the coffee shop about the club, upcoming events, play parties, relationship issues, and about how BDSM and Leather influence our lives, thoughts and actions.

So, yes, i live my life of submission without having a Dominant partner.

Let me hear your thoughts on this as well.  Write me in the comments section to share your opinions.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray