Finally, A Dom of my own! Nope!

Last week i got an email saying i had received an email message on one of those hookup sites. When i checked the email it was a Dom wanting to meet…me! i checked his profile and saw he is 39, handsome according to the posted picture, and most intriguing – he wanted to meet…..me!

Of course i was skeptical. But i did respond. He said to call him Sir, which i do out of respect for all Doms and Masters. So i had no problem with that. We exchanged email addresses and wrote back and forth till He asked if i had Yahoo Messenger. i did. We’ve talked via email, text or yahoo Messenger several times daily for a week.

He requested i purchase a leather mouth cover/ball gag and provide proof that it was ordered to show i was serious in my search for a Dom. i got a 20% discount code from a separate email about BDSM toys from this same company. With shipping costs it was only $30. And it is quite nice.

For our first in person meeting He said to purchase a BDSM starter contract kit from another company. It would be $310 with 24 hour delivery. i said i didn’t have the money and was reluctant to spend it without having met. Sir said He would split the cost with me.

This morning i couldn’t sleep. i got up at 3 am. Just so happens at 2:53 am Sir sent an email to the man at the company saying He had sent $110.00 and His boy would send $200 later today – via Western Union to someone in Texas to finalize the purchase.

Now i don’t know about you dear readers, but have RED FLAGS gone off?

Who makes a purchase through Western Union? The communication from Him to the company and from the company to him are just gmail accounts that anyone could set up. The company website is a crude wordpress website with little information other than the starter kit…..the contract, a leather dog mask, a leather apron, and a leather thong. Strange collection of “starter” items. And why “starter”? Starter for what? BDSM? A new D/s relationship?

At twenty minutes to five in the morning i have convinced myself that once again i am being scammed. Why indeed would a handsome, 39 year old Dom be so quickly smitten with me, an older man. And, i have no actual proof he really lives in Fort Lauderdale.

We subs, who greatly out number Doms and Masters, must ALWAYS be vigilant in watching for online scams in our near desperate search for our Dom for life or just for play.

Needless to say, he is being blocked!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

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Honesty & Lies

Living honestly, openly, and true to myself is not easy. Whilst i have had interest and dalliances into the Leather BDSM/Kink/Fetish world over my many years of adulthood, it has been a short stay each time, only to return reluctantly to my vanilla, mainstream lifestyle after each occurrence.

As you may remember from earlier posts i began coming out as a Leather boy 1 1/2 years ago by joining a club for Leather boys. I’ve attended events, demonstrations, meetings, camping events and recently a formal Leather Masked Ball.

Most of these activities have caused varying degrees of discord within the home & relationship. It started with resistance and snide comments about Leather, Leatherfolk, and kinky activities. It has evolved into a quiet tolerance with only the occasional rumpf response to my going out with Leather minded friends.

This brings me full circle to honesty. i have to admit i am not honest and i am in ways a coward. i want to wear my boots and jeans more. I want to go out more to the Leather bar, events and meetings. i want to live a Leather lifestyle however that manifests in my life. i want to be able to hookup/play or just cruise online without hiding and lying.

And i want to…need to admit to my husband that i am not happy and want to separate. But, through therapy and a sizeable amount of investigation i’ve learned he is a narcissist and i am codependent. As a “narc” he lacks empathy and has little to no clue how bad it is for me in the relationship or how much i want a new start. i deeply dread THE conversation, the anger and tears. So i procrastinate. Surpressing my feelings, wants and desires in deference to his – classic codependence.

i have looked at apartments and rooms for rent. i’ve looked into escape plans, a PO Box, a new separate checking account, i’ve developed a budget, and i’ve made a list of the few things i really want from the house when i leave.

Is this all a dream or fantasy i am building in my mind? Will i have the balls to leave?

Will i finally be honest with myself and my spouse, so we both can begin a new chapter in our lives?

i’ll let you know what happens!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Me a Pig boy? Guess Not!

The Leather Masked Ball was a well attended soiree with hundreds of Leather Men/boys dressed in all manner of hot, masculine Leather. Shirtless and wearing a tight harness seemed to be the preferred attire for the night. Few attendees actually wore masks though.

The DJ was Chi Chi LaRue playing some classic dance music that never seemed to draw a crowd to the dance floor or whip the men into a dancing frenzy.

My husband went to the Ball with me and seemingly had a pretty good time despite his aversion to everything Leather and BDSM oriented. He was intrigued by the puppies, puppy masks and tails, and fascinated by the information that Leatherwerks occasionally has classes on puppy play. Could he be a would be pup handler?

It was the beginning of Pig Week also. So, i went to a pool party at Inn Leather for my first official pig week activity. i sat naked by the pool in the shade admiring all the other naked men wandering around the resort area and lounging by the pool.

At one point i took a walk around the grounds and heard some noise coming from an alcove behind the locker area. Of course i needed to investigate. my eyes widened as i watched about 10 guys going at it in one big jumble of man meat. Hands, mouths, dicks and asses all seemed to be connected from one body to the next.

i watched a few minutes. Didn’t get turned on or even hard. So i left the alcove, kinda bored, but also feeling sexually inadequate. i went back to my chair by the pool. A guy approached. Offered a BJ. i accepted, but wasn’t turned on or sufficiently hard so i excused myself, dressed and went home.

Another night i attended a rope bondage class taught by two hot Men. After the class the attendees were directed to another room where a “play party” was starting. The party was likely going to be non-kinky sex play only. Instead of the play party i walked about 6 blocks to the Ramrod Bar. Four beers later i took Uber to the Clubhouse II, a gay male bathhouse. Being pig week it was supposed to be packed. But it wasn’t. i left about 3 am without having sex and took Uber home.

What i seemed to have learned is that i am not a Pig, at least not in a group setting. i am not ready to be sexually active because of physical limitations. And i feel like i must be the only gay man who can go to a bathhouse and not have sex with anyone.

i did have a Dom lined up for a BDSM play scene during pig week. He was from out of town and texted me on arrival in Fort Lauderdale. It was only then that W/we discovered that neither one of us could host. Another lost opportunity.

Not a pig! But if i hadn’t tried i would never have found out. i am putting myself out there in the community more, and making more connections. And, that my friends is the name of the game.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray