Pup Play

This article was borrowed from a recent Tumblr posting.

Pup Play FAQ

The past several months I’ve had individuals contact me regarding what pup play is from my perspective, and to ask for more resources. Instead of typing it out every time and trying to find the resources I have, I’m just putting it on here so I can share it easily. If someone thinks something should be added/changed/fixed, let me know. I’d rather be corrected so the info on here is reliable and available.

So what is Pup play:

The short answer:
It’s exactly as it sounds. Someone wanting to play the role of (role play) a puppy: on all fours, wagging, barking, playing with toys, eating out of dog bowls, etc.

The longer answer:
Pup play is a form of pet play (animal role play), where an individual wants to take on the role of a puppy dog. This is done by role-playing a puppy, mimicking mannerisms: barking, wagging, begging, playing with toys, sniffing/licking things, eating out of bowls, etc.; for fun.

In the end it’s a fun release, getting into a shift in headspace, and only focusing about what is happening right now. Not what happened earlier, or what will come. Just being a pup in the here and now. That headspace is all about trying to think like a dog and rely more on instinct rather than the complexities of human thought and aspirations.

What pup play is not:

First and foremost, pup play is not about bestiality – no sexual activity involving real bio (biological) dogs. Pup play is also not about humiliation. Most pups do not get into pup for the humiliation factor. They get into pup because it’s fun and a great release. However, while someone may be a pup, they may also be part of, or like other kinks, fetishes, and communities as well. Finally, pup play is not just about sex. While pup play can be a sex positive experience, where the subject of sex is not looked down on. Sex is not the sole purpose of pet play or pup play. It just depends on the nature of the relationship with the pup and/or any other parties involved.

Terms:

Below are a few terms that are used within the pup community. I’ve noticed that some people define these differently, this is just my own generic definitions:

Pup – A person acting the part of a puppy within pup-play.
Alpha – A pup who is a leader in a pack or over other pup(s). This is normally a leadership/guidance role.
Owner – Someone who owns a pup or a pack (multiple pups).
Handler – Someone who is handling a pup on a leash.
PAH – (Puppy and Handler) Is normally a regional/local group specifically for human puppies, handlers, and those interested in pup play.
Biopup/Biodog – Refers to an actual biological dog.
Headspace (pup-space or pupping out) – Is the carefree mental state that happens when in pup play. It’s focusing on living in the moment, and acting with your surroundings on instinct, like a dog would. Putting your own thoughts, fears, ambitions, etc. aside for a time.
Moshing – A puppy mosh, mosh pit, or just mosh, is normally when a group of pups get together and pup out. Most of the time it’s done in a specific area (roped off or matted) for the sole purpose of pupping out.
There are other terms out there and definitions. I suggest reading other resources to learn more about them and/or how others define those terms. There are other resources at the end of this.

Is any gear required to get started:

No, being a pup requires no gear. It’s a mental state and purely up to the individual on how they want to pup. I do recommend at least some basic safety gear for comfort. Mainly due to being on all fours on the floor, they can either be hard on your knuckles and knees, or can give you rug burn, depending on the surfaces you are crawling around on. Some basic knee pads and cheap MMA practice mitts make perfect gear to start out with. But, while I recommend some gear for comfort, I want to repeat this. Gear is never required to be a pup. Below are a few other things you can look at.
Collars – I’ve seen two forms of thought on it. Some say pups should wear a collar and their owner/alpha/handler will give them tags. Others say collars should be given by an owner/alpha/handler. Personally, if a collar will help you get into headspace, go for it! In the end if you get a cheap collar and your owner/alpha/handler wants to give you a more expensive collar and/or tags, you can always switch to using theirs. Again, no one is making the rules on this except you.
Toys – Toys can really make pupping out fun, even by yourself. Think of a real puppy and them playing with chew toys. They can entertain themselves for a long while. Just keep it simple and cheap, soft chew toys are all you need. Though I caution playing with hard chew toys (rawhide, hard plastic, etc.). Human teeth are not the same as bio dog teeth.
Hoods/Muzzles – Hoods and muzzles are good to help a pup get into headspace. They also afford a pup the security of anonymity, which can help a pup when in public places. It also helps a pup look more the part, which again, helps with getting into that puppy headspace; but, by no means required. If starting out, there are cheap options out there, you don’t have to drop $150-230+ on a hood if you are not sure pup-play is your thing.
Any other gear that is out there is there for aesthetic purposes. It can help pups get more into that pup headspace. But, again, it is not required. When starting out, I suggest going cheap. Don’t invest into something you are just going to try out if you are not sure this is something you are going stick with. You can get cheap mitts, kneepads, collar, toys, and a hood/mask for under to around $100. If it’s something after a time, you enjoy, you can always invest and upgrade to better gear.

How do I get started:

A lot of times, starting out, people over think it. Try dropping down on all fours and sniffing around, viewing your surrounds on all fours, and starting to think like a puppy. You might want to get on YouTube and watch some videos on how puppies/dogs act. Or, read the numerous dog training resources that are out there on the internet to get some background on training puppies/dogs to give you better insight on how puppies/dogs behave.
Choosing a puppy name and or breed:
Choosing a name is purely up to the individual and or owner/pup relationship. Names can always be changed to best suit a pup. So if you choose a name and get an owner who changes it to something more suiting, nothing is wrong with that. Again, pup is purely defined on your terms.
Breed is the same way; it’s purely up to the pups’ discretion as to what breed they choose if one at all. Let me be clear, you do not need to have a breed to be a pup. It’s just flavor, a bit of color to the experience. If you are looking into a breed, look at the traits certain breeds have, that align closely with how you feel. And, you don’t have to pick a breed due to your body type. I know a huge guy that looks like a linebacker 6’+ tall, that’s a Chihuahua. I know a very small guy who’s a St. Bernard. It’s just flavor to help you identify more as a pup.

Other Resources:

Take this and any other resource with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong way to be a pup. There isn’t a rule book that states there is a specific way to do something, or set standards that has to be followed – other than common sense. These are just my answers. This and all other resources are just guides to help you. I can’t stress this enough, however you pup, so long as you are happy and comfortable, go for it.
And, I wholeheartedly suggest getting out and involved with a Puppy or PAH (puppy and handlers) group in your area. You can read all you like, but actually interacting with other pups in the community, you gain a wealth of knowledge by actually participating. You may also want to look at your local Leather/BDSM community, which is normally pretty accepting of puppy play and will have resources for you to help you out.
Below are other resources on puppy 101 – beginning stuff to read into. I highly recommend reading these resources and any others out there to get ideas to figure out how you want to pup.

Resources on pup play:

Other online guides, sites, and books:
Woof! – Perspectives into the Erotic Care & Training of the Human Dog
Puppy 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy Moshing 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy 101 NEPUPS
Azure-Chaos – Caring for your Human-Pup
SiriusPup
International Puppy Contest
Puppy Bill of Rights
Wikipedia – Animal Roleplay

Online Forums on Pup-Play:

Puppy 101 Facebook page
Pup Zone – For guys into dog/pup roleplay
The Kennel – A Social Network for Human Pups and Their Masters

Gear:

The Happy Pup – Gpup’s Puppy Play & Pup Play Gear Guide
Info on Pup play and Pup play Gear
Mr. S Leather
Look under the puppy section on the left menu.
GRR Bear-Masks
Great handmade masks without breaking your budget. The owner will work with you to create a mask custom for you.
Rubber Dawg – Custom rubber hoods
The Well Kept Pet – Custom Leather Pet Play Masks
Dog House Leathers
The link is to their “Puppy Stuff” page
Fetish Zone
Has a lot of kinky stuff on their site, including a pup play section, as well as a pony play section

Now go out and get your puppy on…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

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While the Cat’s Away, the mouse Might Play

my husband is out of town with friends enjoying a huge gay annual event (Gay Days in Orlando) filled with sun, pool parties, evening activities, concerts, and yes, probably lots of sex!!

But i am fine with that.  In fact i encouraged him to go so i could have some free time to go out and immerse myself into the Leather BDSM and Kink community. And maybe, just maybe, i will hookup with a Dom for a play scene.

my first free night was Thursday.  i planned my night, cleaned up – inside and out – just in case, and dressed in nice jeans, leather themed black tee shirt, and my leather bar vest.  

Uber got me to the bar between 9:30 and 10 pm.  i know…kinda early, but it was a school/work night.  i thought men would be out early.  The bar’s theme night was a “bulge” contest at midnight.  Surely i could moderate my drinking, cruise hot leather men, and socialize till the contest began.

As i walked into the Ramrod i saw the bar was sparsely populated, but there was a cute “Bear” seated across the bar.  He gave me The Look!  So i situated myself a couple seats from him and ordered a beer.

Mistake!

He was a BIG talker.  He was a bottom.  He said he wanted to suck my dick and have me spank him.  He was really drunk.  He did buy me a beer and a shot of bourbon.  Then, he suddenly leaned/fell toward me and stuck his tongue in my mouth.  Hmm.  What to do? Am i desperate?

Then, his partner arrived and i took the opportunity to hurriedly excuse myself.  

Friday night i pondered three choices.  i thought of going to a kind of fun, but seedy neighborhood bar, or to the a gay men’s sex club, or to a bathhouse catering to more mature men.  Friday was all about getting laid!

So, i ended up watching the last two episodes of The Amazing Race on Cable that i had missed.  And i was in bed by 11:30 pm.

i started writing this post this morning, Saturday, 6/3/17, which will likely show as the post date.  However, i have two more free nights of planned debauchery. 

Tonight there is an extremely popular monthly themed party at the Leather bar, The Ramrod, called Pig Dance. i AM going!  i AM going!  i will have to take a bar nap this afternoon so i am not to tired to go.  But, i AM going!  That’s my mantra for today.

The last Pig Dance i attended a few months ago had hundreds of hot men in all manner of dress and undress – from full Leather down to just a jock and boots.  They were all ages probably 20 to 80s, bears and twinks, hairy and smooth.  It was a smorgasbord of man meat.

i have no doubt the bar will again be packed to the rafters and even spilling out into the rear patio and the front parking lot.  It’s a dizzying aroma of sweat, male sex pheromones, booze, and cigarette & cigar smoke.  And the cacophony of thumping music and loud conversations will be deafening. But what fun.  The atmosphere is highly sexual and energizing. 

i went!  It was crowded and loud and smoky.  It was everything I expected.  But, i, i, was so uncomfortable in my own skin, in my own Leather, that i had one beer, walked around once and left about thirty minutes later.  Then, i took Uber to another bar, a small neighborhood bar, but it is actually situated in a commercial area.  It was busy.  When i walked in all the guys turned to see the new meat arrival.  i was cruised by a couple guys, but again i was bored and went home after about forty five minutes.

my mood and self esteem were low.  i wasn’t really sure i wanted to go out and probably shouldn’t have.  But, to counter the loneliness and insecurity I could have/should have asked one of my buddies to go with me.  But i didn’t!  

Those little tapes that play over and over in our heads sure can fuck up an otherwise great time.  

Sunday was my Leather boy’s club meeting.  i went and was upbeat and talkative.  Short meeting.  A couple of us went for a drink.  Enjoyed myself.  i thought i might go to a sex club Sunday night but didn’t – i shall tell Y/you why in my next post! 

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer this post.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

House Rules for New subs

Reposted and edited with permission from the Blog bdsmforvanillas written by thesexresearcher.  Thank you!

When you get a new submissive, one of the things you can do to ensure that things run smoothly is to create a set of rules. Rules must be adapted to each individual D/s relationship, but here are a bunch of rules you can choose from or use as inspiration.

General Rules:

  1. The submissive shall not lie.
  2. The submissive shall NOT consider “Nothing” as an appropriate response to “What’s wrong?”
  3. The submissive shall be respectful at all times
  4. The submissive shall not manipulate Dominant, or any situation, in order to achieve their own personal objectives.
  5. The submissive must wear their “collar” at all times.
  6. The submissive’s clothing is subject to the inspection and approval of Dominant.
  7. The submissive shall execute and complete all requests made by Dominant in the manner and time frame they set forth, and agreed upon by the submissive.
  8. The submissive shall discuss with Dominant all decisions of any significance.
  9. The submissive shall submit a journal entry to Dominant each day.
  10. The submissive shall not fear discipline from any matters contained in their journal.
  11. The submissive is always to act in a manner that reflects positively upon their Dominant.
  12. The submissive shall not misuse their safe word. It is appropriately used only at times in which they feel their personal safety, either physical or mental (including fear), is compromised.
  13. The submissive shall refrain from using profane language at all times.
  14. The submissive shall always make physical or eye contact with Dominant when Dominant enters a room.
  15. The submissive must let Dominant take care of them.

Daily Routine:

  1. Before leaving  home every day, submissive must be wearing an item of ownership.
  2. Each morning, sub will write Dom’s name somewhere on sub’s body. Condition – If they are together, Dom will write their name on sub’s body each morning.
  3. Each evening, sub must write an e-mail to Dom describing in detail everything that they plan to wear the following day. Or if together, then let them pick out your outfit. Must include: undergarments, outfit, jewelry, perfume.
  4. Every day after work, when female sub changes out of her work clothes, she must insert the Ben Wa balls into her pussy and wear them until bedtime. She must wear the ben wa balls for all social, exercise, yoga or work out activities.
  5. Every night submissive must masturbate.

Grooming/Hygiene/Body care:

  1. Submissive will adhere to any preference Dominant might have regarding whether they shower or take a bath.
  2. Submissive will adhere to any preference Dominant might have regarding whether they bathe or shower at night or in the morning.
  3. Submissive will also adhere to any preference Dominant has to which body lotion or perfume they use after they bathe/shower.
  4. The submissive will attempt to avoid disease. Should any medical issue arise, the submissive will inform Dominant immediately.
  5. The submissive must brush and floss teeth daily.
  6. Hair must be groomed each day.
  7. Submissive must exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes each day.

Mental:

  1. Submissive must thank Dominant cheerfully
  2. Submissive will never hide their feelings or thoughts from Dominant.
  3. Submissive will apologize whenever they have erred.
  4. Submissive will never hide their tears from Dominant.
  5. Submissive will not borrow trouble and will not worry about things that are out of their control.
  6. Submissive will accept all punishments, knowing they are out of care and/or love.
  7. Submissive will never (or rarely) speak badly of themselves, or there will be consequences.
  8. Submissive will go to therapy, take medicine, or whatever the Dominant says if they have mental issues like anxiety or depression.

Communication:

  1. Submissive will send a “good morning” text to let Dominant know they are awake and to remind them of plans for the day.
  2. Submissive will let Dominant know whenever they leave the house.
  3. Submissive will not pick up their phone and answer it when Dominant is talking to them, unless Dominant says otherwise.
  4. Submissive will ask permission to speak freely when they believe Dominant is making a wrong choice.
  5. Submissive will always address Dominant as “Sir”, or other name both have agreed on. And keep their eyes respectfully lowered. Unless agreed to not do this.
  6. If submissive is concerned that they will deviate from an expectation they are to inform Dominant at once. Preferably before.
  7. Submissive will ask permission to make purchases that they or Dominant do not “Need”.
  8. Submissive will always come to Dominant with any concerns that they have. Submissive will not be afraid to talk to Dominant.
  9. Submissive will respond to text messages from Dominant in a reasonable amount of time or explain why it took so long to answer.

Household:

  1. Submissive will keep the household in presentable order
  2. Submissive will keep dirty laundry to a minimum
  3. Submissive will fold laundry (without complaint)
  4. Submissive will wash dishes everyday (Dishwasher)
  5. Submissive will feed dogs and do their training every morning
  6. Submissive will cook meals at least 3 times a week

Sexual:

  1. Submissive will have sex when Dominant sees fit, unless health prevents them from doing so. Submissive will let Dominant know when they are not feeling well enough for sexual activity.
  2. Submissive will never touch their self in a gratifying way or pleasing way outside of Dominant’s presence or unless they have obtained Dominant’s consent.
  3. Submissive will never touch a toy unless instructed to do so.
  4. Submissive will always thank Dominant after play, or sexual use.
  5. Submissive must also ask permission to orgasm.
  6. If submissive is given instructions regarding masturbation prior to asking, they must follow those instructions to the best of their ability.
  7. If submissive wants to buy a new sex toy they must show Dominant so they can make the decision together.
  8. While in the scene, the submissive will not speak unless to say their safeword or unless the Dominant says they can.
  9. Submissive may ask for a particular sexual act before starting the scene, but not during.
  10. Once the scene has started, the Dominant has full control and expects full cooperation from submissive.

 

 

 

 

 

Real Online LDR or Real Prick Tease

My marriage is not perfect, but whose is?  We’ve only been officially married 2 1/2 years, but have been together 37 years.  As i related in a previous post we had a drastic estrangement last September when it came out how deeply i was integrating into the Leather BDSM Kink lifestyle. 

Over the years i have been told repeatedly by a series of therapists to end my relationship because of codependence and ongoing difficulties between us.   However, i couldn’t leave, and didn’t want to.  There was love, friendship, companionship, compatibility, lots of history with both ups and downs, illnesses, near deaths for each of us, many family member’s deaths, and most of our friends had died of AIDS.  And of course the codependence!

The major thing missing from my life and needs seemed to be a healthy (and kinky) sex life.  But now, i feel i need a deep emotional and passionate relationship to go with the hot sex life.

For years i have been on many gay hookup sites looking for those brief anonymous, wild and passionate hookups.  Unfortunately, it mostly ended up just being picture perusal and an occasional chat, but very seldom any hookups.

Last week a new app notice appeared in my email inbox, so i thought i would give it a try.  Within a couple of hours of getting the app & submitting my profile, my first email arrived. It was from a handsome man, 52 years old, BUT he lives in another country. His message was very sweet and special so i responded.  i have to say i also got a dozen more messages from guys all over the world that i deleted immediately.  

This man, a doctor – he says – and i have texted several times daily every since we first met.  Some of his story made me wonder if he is being truthful.  According to him he is in a special military unit as a doctor – an email was sent to me from a medical related email, so i tend to believe that. Yesterday he said he was being sent to a middle eastern war zone country  – and then later he texted his google location, & sure enough it shows he is there in the thick of the fighting. Yipes!

i look forward to each text.  i am fearing for his life.  i am praying he returns to the safety of his home country soon.

The big caveat  – he has proclaimed his love for me already and states he wants to be together and that the distance can be overcome if there is enough desire to continue the relationship. 

So, i am having an emotional affair. It feels much different from the infrequent sexual hookups i was having.  i am not saying i feel guilty, but i worry that i could end up being a prick tease for my doctor/soldier/lover man.  I have not told him about my relationship status, physical problems or HIV status, but he hasn’t asked either.

i have fantasized about moving to his European country escaping my current life.  But, i know, well…i think i know it is just a fantasy.  i do not want to hurt my husband.  I couldn’t move to another country while my father is still living. Of course, we would have to meet in person to test compatibility, sexual compatibility, and see if he truly has a BDSM side as he indicated in his online profile. He did say he is versatile and tends more submissive.  Hummm. 

Tell me now, am i in fantasyland? Could it really work out?  Am i infatuated?  Is it budding love?  Am i wanting an escape route? Or am i being a prick tease?  

Y/you can be honest.  What do you think?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays

Today i will just talk about humiliation as a part of a D/s interaction or relationships.  Twice, well, maybe more than that, i have put my safety in jeopardy by getting into the vehicle of an unknown Dom.  But, the topic is about humiliation…both of those encounters began with my public humiliation.  The first one i experienced was with a Brazilian Dom i met on a hookup site.  He was a young, good looking, uncut, married (to a woman) Dom so i felt i could trust Him to be discreet.

On the day of our first meeting He ordered me to wear a tank top tee shirt, extremely short shorts, and no underwear.  Also i was to tie a white ribbon around my balls and to let the end of the ribbon to hang out the bottom of my shorts.  Well, the shorts i had were very short workout shorts and i always wore a jock with them.  The jock greatly enhanced and displayed my bulge through the leg openings.  This was the strategic marketing of my availability at the gay gym.  

If that weren’t enough humiliation, the true test of my submissiveness for Him was that i was to drive to a certain coffee shop about six miles from my house, and i was to stand out front with my head bowed waiting for him to arrive.  i must have stood there ten to fifteen minutes before He arrived.  He then ordered me to keep my head down and not to look at Him.  W/we walked into the coffee shop and sat at a table.  He ordered me to move closer, He reached over and took hold of the white ribbon tugging on it a couple times.  He bought U/us coffee and we left.  i assumed i would follow Him to His house, but He insisted i get into his car.  Briefly i thought about my safety but my dick was making decisions for me at this point.

i got into the passenger seat still averting my eyes and W/we drove off.  W/we drove a short distance, then He ordered me to put a blindfold on, which i did..  Later i learned He didn’t want me to know where W/we were going or His address.  He ordered me down in the seat so neighbors wouldn’t see as He drove into the garage.  i followed Him into His house.  Again, i thought He could kill me and no one would have a clue about my whereabouts.  But i still went in.  

i allowed myself to be cuffed behind my back after undressing.  

Previously online He told me about a smegma fixation He has.  He asked if i preferred clean or with “cheese”.  i said clean.  However, when He wanted a blow job all i could think about was smegma – even though He was clean.  So, i began gagging and choking with the thought of unclean dick in my mouth.  He said, “you are a lousy cocksucker, I’ll have to train you to be better at it.”  The rest of the scenario i will not discuss simply because it was uneventful and safe.  He took me back to my car and i never saw Him again.  i chose not to do that again with Him!

The second encounter with public humiliation was eerily similar – can Doms not come up with an original idea for public humiliation?

In NO WAY am i encouraging you to submit to public humiliation or putting yourself in the kind of dangerous situations i describe in my post.  

How many mistakes did i make during that scenario?

Always put Y/your safety first.

Humiliation can be public or private.  But it must be consensual!

Although i was embarrassed each time i submitted to public humiliation, i felt i was displaying my commitment to submission for everyone to see.

Now that i am more knowledgeable about BDSM, safety, and the practice of safe, sane and consensual kink, i am less likely to consent to public humiliation, and definitely will not get in a car that can be driven anywhere potentially putting me in danger.

Be safe!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Have you ever consented to public humiliation?  If so, i would love to hear your story.  Share with me in comments ot PM me.  Thanks

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Sometimes, especially when in the company of non Leather folks, i get twinges of sub shame and embarrassment.  At times, not too often, but occasionally i feel judged or pigeonholed as a leather sub who is passive, used, abused, and having no choice or say in what “happens” to me in a BDSM dynamic.  i don’t feel like going into educator mode explaining about roles, choices, contracts, negotiations, limits, safe words, and just admitting that the things that are “done” to me are done with my permission because all BDSM activities are between consenting adults.

As far as being resistant to an aspect of being a submissive i feel a bit of ambivalence regarding subs into piss and scat.  i described my foray into play parties last week, but the one thing i don’t think i mentioned was the piss boy who was stationed in the restroom.  he stayed in there the whole night and was given a donation of $5 by each person who wanted to piss on him or have him “drink from the tap.”  i really had to piss bad by the time i left the party, but I would not #1 pay $5 to pee, and #2 pee on someone who spent the whole night serving as a toilet.  i like the idea of 1:1 piss play but not in a situation like that.  Part of me felt sad for him, but i have to remember and remind myself from time to time that his kink is not my kink, but his kink is ok! 

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

i think I am a happy, joyful submissive.  i am a long term service oriented caregiving professional having worked in healthcare for many years.  In ways that profession is one of submissiveness. Wanting to do for and care for others!   A service oriented submissive.  To put myself second – behind the person who is most important – whether that person is a Dom, or a patient.  To take care of someone well is a source of pride, satisfaction, and joy for me.  It instills a deeper sense of self worth and self esteem.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 22

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Yes i believe a submissive can feel submissive even without a Dominant partner.  i always feel and try to portray my submissive nature.  It may be in some small ways, but it is ever present in my mind and actions.  Now that does not mean i am run over by people, taken advantage of, disrespected, or that i am not assertive in some situations.  

i mentioned before that i wear a leather bracelet on my right wrist as a sign that i am a leather oriented bottom boy.  i might have a key clip or have a hunter green bandana in my right back jeans pocket and wearing a Leather themed T shirt to denote my interest and position.   Being a sub means showing respect so i always say “please” “thank you” and i say “Sir” a lot even to younger men.  i now say “may i…” rather than “can i…” because i feel it expresses verbally my submission.    Also, i said in a post just the other day that i stand in a submissive way nearly all the time.  It is a constant reminder of submission.

Other ways of expressing my submission is by writing this blog.  There are so many ideas, thoughts, experiences, questions, doubts, and desires in me that need an outlet and this is a way of expressing my submission through words.  Another example is that a small group of us from the boy’s Leather club meet for coffee every week or two.  we talk openly in the coffee shop about the club, upcoming events, play parties, relationship issues, and about how BDSM and Leather influence our lives, thoughts and actions.

So, yes, i live my life of submission without having a Dominant partner.

Let me hear your thoughts on this as well.  Write me in the comments section to share your opinions.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Assume the Position

It may be a holdover or throwback to the Old Guard Protocol, but i have been thinking a lot lately about learning to assume the position – of a submissive boy to his Dom.  Personally i enjoy standing with my feet apart, hands behind my back and my head down slightly averting my gaze from my Dom’s eyes.  

Also i like the idea of the nude presentation position.  This position is assumed when the Dom wants to see, inspect or scrutinize your body in all its naked glory.  In this position the sub is on his knees with his butt on the floor, and his knees spread allowing full visualization of the genitals.  

There are many positions a submissive should learn to assume when given a command verbally by the Dom, or with just a look or specific gesture by the Dom.  These positions are to remind the submissive or slave of his position in relation to his Dom.  Also the Dom is displaying His power over the submissive by having His submissive assume the position anytime He wishes.  And the submissive is to maintain that position until the Dom issues another command or allows the sub to return to other duties.

One website listed well over thirty different positions a sub could be commanded to assume.  However, some of them were just slight variations from others.  A handful of common and useful poses can and should be learned quite easily by submissives.  

An excellent resource for all things submissive is http://www.submissiveguide.com.  There is a two week program for learning about the positions – the meaning behind the pose and how to assume that position.  It even teaches how to lower yourself to the floor and to get up gracefully.

If this sparks an interest, or you want to practice and perfect your positions this is the ideal site to go to.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 13

Sex and submission?  Now we’re talking!

Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

While it may be the dream of most submissives to be a sex slave available anytime your Dom wants, it really isn’t that practical for subs or their Doms for that matter.  One must take into account the likelihood of differing libidos.  Also important are the additional responsibilities of the sub such as full time work outside the home, housework, cooking, caring for children, and serving the Dom as He deserves.  It is hard to be available for sex when you are physically and emotionally drained by the end of each day.  It is hard also for gay men to be completely “clean” 24/7 in anticipation of Him wanting sex.  

It is my hope that i would be able to respond sensuously every time He made a sexual move or made a request, or just pressed His erect penis against me.  That would be my goal.  But, meeting His every need anytime He wants it would be most difficult for most subs.

But, yes sexual availability is a part of my submission.
Why or why not?

It is my belief that the sub should be able to meet all the needs of his Dom including sexual availability. subs don’t sign on for doing tasks and caring for the Dom only when they feel like it.  Personally i wouldn’t think it appropriate to tell your Dom that you’ll do the dishes, or feed the dogs/children, take out the garbage or even satisfying Him tomorrow because you don’t feel like doing it now.
Are there limits to this?

Extreme fatigue or illness would limit the ability of the sub to fulfill this duty.  Otherwise i believe every sub should strive for sexual availability anytime their Dom wants it.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Days 14 & 15

Day 14 – Today, i decided to answer two questions because number 14 is really easy to answer.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?

No
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Don’t know enough about it to have an answer for you.

Day 15 – Has your submission evolved over time?

Yes i can say that it has.  

If so, how has it evolved for you?

Back in the day…1979, it was about the look of a hot man in Leather…the hyper-masculinity.  While in that gay Mecca a guy tried fisting me but was unsuccessful. Also there was an instance of piss play.  

Then, on returning to my hometown i played with candles, needles, poppers and genital torture a couple times.

So, i wouldn’t say i was submissive but more kinky. When i fully claimed my proud bottom-ness i began to realize that i was truly a submissive. 

Now, i am working toward total submission to a Dom, but if that doesn’t happen i will be content to just being a submissive in play only.

i really would like to work on becoming a real service sub and to increase my tolerance & find my limit with pain.

If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

N/A