Pup Play

This article was borrowed from a recent Tumblr posting.

Pup Play FAQ

The past several months I’ve had individuals contact me regarding what pup play is from my perspective, and to ask for more resources. Instead of typing it out every time and trying to find the resources I have, I’m just putting it on here so I can share it easily. If someone thinks something should be added/changed/fixed, let me know. I’d rather be corrected so the info on here is reliable and available.

So what is Pup play:

The short answer:
It’s exactly as it sounds. Someone wanting to play the role of (role play) a puppy: on all fours, wagging, barking, playing with toys, eating out of dog bowls, etc.

The longer answer:
Pup play is a form of pet play (animal role play), where an individual wants to take on the role of a puppy dog. This is done by role-playing a puppy, mimicking mannerisms: barking, wagging, begging, playing with toys, sniffing/licking things, eating out of bowls, etc.; for fun.

In the end it’s a fun release, getting into a shift in headspace, and only focusing about what is happening right now. Not what happened earlier, or what will come. Just being a pup in the here and now. That headspace is all about trying to think like a dog and rely more on instinct rather than the complexities of human thought and aspirations.

What pup play is not:

First and foremost, pup play is not about bestiality – no sexual activity involving real bio (biological) dogs. Pup play is also not about humiliation. Most pups do not get into pup for the humiliation factor. They get into pup because it’s fun and a great release. However, while someone may be a pup, they may also be part of, or like other kinks, fetishes, and communities as well. Finally, pup play is not just about sex. While pup play can be a sex positive experience, where the subject of sex is not looked down on. Sex is not the sole purpose of pet play or pup play. It just depends on the nature of the relationship with the pup and/or any other parties involved.

Terms:

Below are a few terms that are used within the pup community. I’ve noticed that some people define these differently, this is just my own generic definitions:

Pup – A person acting the part of a puppy within pup-play.
Alpha – A pup who is a leader in a pack or over other pup(s). This is normally a leadership/guidance role.
Owner – Someone who owns a pup or a pack (multiple pups).
Handler – Someone who is handling a pup on a leash.
PAH – (Puppy and Handler) Is normally a regional/local group specifically for human puppies, handlers, and those interested in pup play.
Biopup/Biodog – Refers to an actual biological dog.
Headspace (pup-space or pupping out) – Is the carefree mental state that happens when in pup play. It’s focusing on living in the moment, and acting with your surroundings on instinct, like a dog would. Putting your own thoughts, fears, ambitions, etc. aside for a time.
Moshing – A puppy mosh, mosh pit, or just mosh, is normally when a group of pups get together and pup out. Most of the time it’s done in a specific area (roped off or matted) for the sole purpose of pupping out.
There are other terms out there and definitions. I suggest reading other resources to learn more about them and/or how others define those terms. There are other resources at the end of this.

Is any gear required to get started:

No, being a pup requires no gear. It’s a mental state and purely up to the individual on how they want to pup. I do recommend at least some basic safety gear for comfort. Mainly due to being on all fours on the floor, they can either be hard on your knuckles and knees, or can give you rug burn, depending on the surfaces you are crawling around on. Some basic knee pads and cheap MMA practice mitts make perfect gear to start out with. But, while I recommend some gear for comfort, I want to repeat this. Gear is never required to be a pup. Below are a few other things you can look at.
Collars – I’ve seen two forms of thought on it. Some say pups should wear a collar and their owner/alpha/handler will give them tags. Others say collars should be given by an owner/alpha/handler. Personally, if a collar will help you get into headspace, go for it! In the end if you get a cheap collar and your owner/alpha/handler wants to give you a more expensive collar and/or tags, you can always switch to using theirs. Again, no one is making the rules on this except you.
Toys – Toys can really make pupping out fun, even by yourself. Think of a real puppy and them playing with chew toys. They can entertain themselves for a long while. Just keep it simple and cheap, soft chew toys are all you need. Though I caution playing with hard chew toys (rawhide, hard plastic, etc.). Human teeth are not the same as bio dog teeth.
Hoods/Muzzles – Hoods and muzzles are good to help a pup get into headspace. They also afford a pup the security of anonymity, which can help a pup when in public places. It also helps a pup look more the part, which again, helps with getting into that puppy headspace; but, by no means required. If starting out, there are cheap options out there, you don’t have to drop $150-230+ on a hood if you are not sure pup-play is your thing.
Any other gear that is out there is there for aesthetic purposes. It can help pups get more into that pup headspace. But, again, it is not required. When starting out, I suggest going cheap. Don’t invest into something you are just going to try out if you are not sure this is something you are going stick with. You can get cheap mitts, kneepads, collar, toys, and a hood/mask for under to around $100. If it’s something after a time, you enjoy, you can always invest and upgrade to better gear.

How do I get started:

A lot of times, starting out, people over think it. Try dropping down on all fours and sniffing around, viewing your surrounds on all fours, and starting to think like a puppy. You might want to get on YouTube and watch some videos on how puppies/dogs act. Or, read the numerous dog training resources that are out there on the internet to get some background on training puppies/dogs to give you better insight on how puppies/dogs behave.
Choosing a puppy name and or breed:
Choosing a name is purely up to the individual and or owner/pup relationship. Names can always be changed to best suit a pup. So if you choose a name and get an owner who changes it to something more suiting, nothing is wrong with that. Again, pup is purely defined on your terms.
Breed is the same way; it’s purely up to the pups’ discretion as to what breed they choose if one at all. Let me be clear, you do not need to have a breed to be a pup. It’s just flavor, a bit of color to the experience. If you are looking into a breed, look at the traits certain breeds have, that align closely with how you feel. And, you don’t have to pick a breed due to your body type. I know a huge guy that looks like a linebacker 6’+ tall, that’s a Chihuahua. I know a very small guy who’s a St. Bernard. It’s just flavor to help you identify more as a pup.

Other Resources:

Take this and any other resource with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong way to be a pup. There isn’t a rule book that states there is a specific way to do something, or set standards that has to be followed – other than common sense. These are just my answers. This and all other resources are just guides to help you. I can’t stress this enough, however you pup, so long as you are happy and comfortable, go for it.
And, I wholeheartedly suggest getting out and involved with a Puppy or PAH (puppy and handlers) group in your area. You can read all you like, but actually interacting with other pups in the community, you gain a wealth of knowledge by actually participating. You may also want to look at your local Leather/BDSM community, which is normally pretty accepting of puppy play and will have resources for you to help you out.
Below are other resources on puppy 101 – beginning stuff to read into. I highly recommend reading these resources and any others out there to get ideas to figure out how you want to pup.

Resources on pup play:

Other online guides, sites, and books:
Woof! – Perspectives into the Erotic Care & Training of the Human Dog
Puppy 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy Moshing 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy 101 NEPUPS
Azure-Chaos – Caring for your Human-Pup
SiriusPup
International Puppy Contest
Puppy Bill of Rights
Wikipedia – Animal Roleplay

Online Forums on Pup-Play:

Puppy 101 Facebook page
Pup Zone – For guys into dog/pup roleplay
The Kennel – A Social Network for Human Pups and Their Masters

Gear:

The Happy Pup – Gpup’s Puppy Play & Pup Play Gear Guide
Info on Pup play and Pup play Gear
Mr. S Leather
Look under the puppy section on the left menu.
GRR Bear-Masks
Great handmade masks without breaking your budget. The owner will work with you to create a mask custom for you.
Rubber Dawg – Custom rubber hoods
The Well Kept Pet – Custom Leather Pet Play Masks
Dog House Leathers
The link is to their “Puppy Stuff” page
Fetish Zone
Has a lot of kinky stuff on their site, including a pup play section, as well as a pony play section

Now go out and get your puppy on…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

While the Cat’s Away, the mouse Might Play

my husband is out of town with friends enjoying a huge gay annual event (Gay Days in Orlando) filled with sun, pool parties, evening activities, concerts, and yes, probably lots of sex!!

But i am fine with that.  In fact i encouraged him to go so i could have some free time to go out and immerse myself into the Leather BDSM and Kink community. And maybe, just maybe, i will hookup with a Dom for a play scene.

my first free night was Thursday.  i planned my night, cleaned up – inside and out – just in case, and dressed in nice jeans, leather themed black tee shirt, and my leather bar vest.  

Uber got me to the bar between 9:30 and 10 pm.  i know…kinda early, but it was a school/work night.  i thought men would be out early.  The bar’s theme night was a “bulge” contest at midnight.  Surely i could moderate my drinking, cruise hot leather men, and socialize till the contest began.

As i walked into the Ramrod i saw the bar was sparsely populated, but there was a cute “Bear” seated across the bar.  He gave me The Look!  So i situated myself a couple seats from him and ordered a beer.

Mistake!

He was a BIG talker.  He was a bottom.  He said he wanted to suck my dick and have me spank him.  He was really drunk.  He did buy me a beer and a shot of bourbon.  Then, he suddenly leaned/fell toward me and stuck his tongue in my mouth.  Hmm.  What to do? Am i desperate?

Then, his partner arrived and i took the opportunity to hurriedly excuse myself.  

Friday night i pondered three choices.  i thought of going to a kind of fun, but seedy neighborhood bar, or to the a gay men’s sex club, or to a bathhouse catering to more mature men.  Friday was all about getting laid!

So, i ended up watching the last two episodes of The Amazing Race on Cable that i had missed.  And i was in bed by 11:30 pm.

i started writing this post this morning, Saturday, 6/3/17, which will likely show as the post date.  However, i have two more free nights of planned debauchery. 

Tonight there is an extremely popular monthly themed party at the Leather bar, The Ramrod, called Pig Dance. i AM going!  i AM going!  i will have to take a bar nap this afternoon so i am not to tired to go.  But, i AM going!  That’s my mantra for today.

The last Pig Dance i attended a few months ago had hundreds of hot men in all manner of dress and undress – from full Leather down to just a jock and boots.  They were all ages probably 20 to 80s, bears and twinks, hairy and smooth.  It was a smorgasbord of man meat.

i have no doubt the bar will again be packed to the rafters and even spilling out into the rear patio and the front parking lot.  It’s a dizzying aroma of sweat, male sex pheromones, booze, and cigarette & cigar smoke.  And the cacophony of thumping music and loud conversations will be deafening. But what fun.  The atmosphere is highly sexual and energizing. 

i went!  It was crowded and loud and smoky.  It was everything I expected.  But, i, i, was so uncomfortable in my own skin, in my own Leather, that i had one beer, walked around once and left about thirty minutes later.  Then, i took Uber to another bar, a small neighborhood bar, but it is actually situated in a commercial area.  It was busy.  When i walked in all the guys turned to see the new meat arrival.  i was cruised by a couple guys, but again i was bored and went home after about forty five minutes.

my mood and self esteem were low.  i wasn’t really sure i wanted to go out and probably shouldn’t have.  But, to counter the loneliness and insecurity I could have/should have asked one of my buddies to go with me.  But i didn’t!  

Those little tapes that play over and over in our heads sure can fuck up an otherwise great time.  

Sunday was my Leather boy’s club meeting.  i went and was upbeat and talkative.  Short meeting.  A couple of us went for a drink.  Enjoyed myself.  i thought i might go to a sex club Sunday night but didn’t – i shall tell Y/you why in my next post! 

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer this post.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Questions about being a submissive, and Questions for Doms

Have Y/you ever wondered what Y/you were supposed to do, think or feel about being a submissive or a Dominant?  Did you have questions for Doms or subs but were afraid to ask?

Here are a few questions i would ask about being a sub, and some questions i would pose to Dominants, if the opportunity arose.

What questions do Y/you have that Y/you want answered?

Add a comment to this post to respond to a question or to submit a question you have had for a while.

Hopefully we’ll add more questions, get some answers, and open a dialogue between Doms and subs.
                  Questions of Mine

  • Should a boy be clean shaven – not even a moustache 
  • Should a boy keep his hair short?
  • Should a boy shave his pubes and balls?
  • Should a boy shave his ass?
  • Should a boy call every Dom and Master “SIR ” from the very beginning?
  • What do Doms look for in a potential submissive boy?
  • What do Doms really think/feel if a sub uses a safe word?
  • Are most Doms trying to be intimidating or is it the nature of Dominants, or am i being too easily intimidated?
  • Do most Doms have just a few special kinks in Their repertoire or are They well versed in a variety of different skills?
  • What is it with the Cigar craze? 
  •  Don’t Doms know cigars kill the same way cigarettes do, but in a more pervasive, smelly way?
  • Is the role of a Dom becoming fuzzy and more indistinguishable from a submissive?
  • Why is it becoming harder to tell a sub from a Dom in social situations or at Leather bars?
  • Are Doms softening over time?
  • Why is more sex being had at gay male Leather play parties than actual BDSM scenes?
  • At a play party how should a sub ask a Dom to do a scene with him?
  • Is a boy supposed to approach an unfamiliar Dom initially, or is it the Dom’s place to pursue His prospective boy?
  • Are there a lot of Dominants who are actually bottoms in sex, giving the role of top to His boy?
  • What things have You experienced that immediately ended a scene?

i hope more questions are generated and that responses to the current questions will be submitted by many M/men and women sharing T/their perspective. 

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 29 & 30

The time has come for me to Define my kink for the last two days.  i think it took a month or more to write responses to all the questions but it has been profound and eye opening.  i know i am submissive, but never really took the time to contemplate what that means to me or how it impacts my life.  If you haven’t been defining your kink as a submissive along with me i encourage you to back track in my Blog to find all 30 Days of questions.  Don’t rush through them one right after the other.  Take a day or so between writing your responses so that you can ponder the question and then write about it as thoroughly as you can.

Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Over the last twenty five years i have experienced many types of pain mostly from medical issues and surgical interventions.  Some of it mild; some excruciating.  What I can tell Y/you is the unintentional, internal pain from illness or surgery is different from the intentional, consensual infliction on pain in a BDSM setting.  


As a submissive i know that there is a beginning to the pain and a definite endpoint to it.  In this type of scene i am consenting and anticipating the pain.  i know that if the pain surpasses my tolerance level, i can, with one word, stop the infliction of the pain.  


My relationship with the intentional pain is a fondness for the attention of the Dom and the feeling of total submission to His control.  In ways i embrace it, i accept it, i tolerate it, and sometimes i long for it.

i do stop short of calling myself a “pain pig” as some people do.  i am not into the pain just for the pain.  For me it comes with a purpose and is the result of two M/men coming together to explore T/their kink together.


Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 28

Has your submission ever let you down? 
Yes it has.  submissives are a dime a dozen.  Most of the posts on FetLife and Recon.com are from submissives.  In that way my submission lets me down.  It would be so much easier to hookup, find a long term partner or have play sessions if only i was a Dom.  But, it is not my nature.  So, i continue to wait, update my profile and pictures, and try to integrate more into the Leather BDSM community.



Have you ever been criticized for your submission? 
The only real criticism i have received is the one i told Y/you about before.  It was the story of the guy on the hookup site bullying me because i choose to call myself a “boy”.  i retaliated and then blocked him.  Probably should have just let it go, but i didn’t.


Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? 
i have no regrets for being a bottom or submissive.  i have had great sex and some interesting events related to my being submissive.  Just a quick anecdote: we hosted a couple of gay Puerto Rican soccer players in town for a tournament. They spoke little to no English and i spoke no Spanish, but after my partner went to work the next morning one of the men came to my bedroom, got in the bed nude and proceeded to fuck the daylights out of me.  He was good looking and hung, uncut.  He sensed or somehow knew that i was a submissive bottom boy and would gladly allow him to do as he pleased.


Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Oh, certainly.  i have made plenty of mistakes over the course of my life.  And continue to.  Each mistake or lapse in judgment was an opportunity to learn and grow…and hopefully to not make the same or even similar mistakes.  Several of those mistakes i have posted about over these past few months.  If Y/you are interested in learning from my poor choices, Y/you can read back through my earlier posts.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

i wrote before that one of the things i do – not sure i would call it a ritual –  is to always stand in a military “at ease” position with hands behind my back and head slightly bowed with eyes averted from any Dom who may be present.  Also, most of the time i wear a leather band on my right wrist as a sign to others and as a reminder to me that i am a leather submissive.

 i have no other rituals or objects used to express my submission.  It would be wonderful to be gifted an item from a Dom that is meant as a visible sign of my submissiveness. 



Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

Qualities i seek in a Dominant are knowledge and experience in BDSM, a playful nature yet strict in His enforcement of protocol, duties, and the behavior of His sub, yet not aggressive or just plain ole mean under pressure or stress.

Deal breakers would be refusal to negotiate limits and preferences, and in writing a contract; a lack of interest or concern regarding training or for the nurturing of the sub; and having a tendency to being mean under pressure and taking out stress and frustration on the submissive. 



Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

At this time, a “real” session, scene or play session have only been a fantasy.  i have had isolated activities and experiences, and even paid a Pro Dom to work out some fantasies, but i have never been approached by a Dom who follows through and has a real time play session from start to finish with me. 

The only thing that really confuses me or frightens me is the lack of opportunities for real time play.  i have not been able to make myself the kind of sub that is attractive to a Dom to even have Him approach me for play.  i fear i may never experience a full, real BDSM session.


Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Sometimes, especially when in the company of non Leather folks, i get twinges of sub shame and embarrassment.  At times, not too often, but occasionally i feel judged or pigeonholed as a leather sub who is passive, used, abused, and having no choice or say in what “happens” to me in a BDSM dynamic.  i don’t feel like going into educator mode explaining about roles, choices, contracts, negotiations, limits, safe words, and just admitting that the things that are “done” to me are done with my permission because all BDSM activities are between consenting adults.

As far as being resistant to an aspect of being a submissive i feel a bit of ambivalence regarding subs into piss and scat.  i described my foray into play parties last week, but the one thing i don’t think i mentioned was the piss boy who was stationed in the restroom.  he stayed in there the whole night and was given a donation of $5 by each person who wanted to piss on him or have him “drink from the tap.”  i really had to piss bad by the time i left the party, but I would not #1 pay $5 to pee, and #2 pee on someone who spent the whole night serving as a toilet.  i like the idea of 1:1 piss play but not in a situation like that.  Part of me felt sad for him, but i have to remember and remind myself from time to time that his kink is not my kink, but his kink is ok! 

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

i think I am a happy, joyful submissive.  i am a long term service oriented caregiving professional having worked in healthcare for many years.  In ways that profession is one of submissiveness. Wanting to do for and care for others!   A service oriented submissive.  To put myself second – behind the person who is most important – whether that person is a Dom, or a patient.  To take care of someone well is a source of pride, satisfaction, and joy for me.  It instills a deeper sense of self worth and self esteem.