Me a Pig boy? Guess Not!

The Leather Masked Ball was a well attended soiree with hundreds of Leather Men/boys dressed in all manner of hot, masculine Leather. Shirtless and wearing a tight harness seemed to be the preferred attire for the night. Few attendees actually wore masks though.

The DJ was Chi Chi LaRue playing some classic dance music that never seemed to draw a crowd to the dance floor or whip the men into a dancing frenzy.

My husband went to the Ball with me and seemingly had a pretty good time despite his aversion to everything Leather and BDSM oriented. He was intrigued by the puppies, puppy masks and tails, and fascinated by the information that Leatherwerks occasionally has classes on puppy play. Could he be a would be pup handler?

It was the beginning of Pig Week also. So, i went to a pool party at Inn Leather for my first official pig week activity. i sat naked by the pool in the shade admiring all the other naked men wandering around the resort area and lounging by the pool.

At one point i took a walk around the grounds and heard some noise coming from an alcove behind the locker area. Of course i needed to investigate. my eyes widened as i watched about 10 guys going at it in one big jumble of man meat. Hands, mouths, dicks and asses all seemed to be connected from one body to the next.

i watched a few minutes. Didn’t get turned on or even hard. So i left the alcove, kinda bored, but also feeling sexually inadequate. i went back to my chair by the pool. A guy approached. Offered a BJ. i accepted, but wasn’t turned on or sufficiently hard so i excused myself, dressed and went home.

Another night i attended a rope bondage class taught by two hot Men. After the class the attendees were directed to another room where a “play party” was starting. The party was likely going to be non-kinky sex play only. Instead of the play party i walked about 6 blocks to the Ramrod Bar. Four beers later i took Uber to the Clubhouse II, a gay male bathhouse. Being pig week it was supposed to be packed. But it wasn’t. i left about 3 am without having sex and took Uber home.

What i seemed to have learned is that i am not a Pig, at least not in a group setting. i am not ready to be sexually active because of physical limitations. And i feel like i must be the only gay man who can go to a bathhouse and not have sex with anyone.

i did have a Dom lined up for a BDSM play scene during pig week. He was from out of town and texted me on arrival in Fort Lauderdale. It was only then that W/we discovered that neither one of us could host. Another lost opportunity.

Not a pig! But if i hadn’t tried i would never have found out. i am putting myself out there in the community more, and making more connections. And, that my friends is the name of the game.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

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Surge – a Leather Weekend

It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.

Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities.  And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.

As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days.  On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck.  The post operative pain was excruciating.  Not the incision…it’s been perfect.  The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms.  i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.

So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.

Details to follow after i return from Surge.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

The Lost Art of Good (Gay) Sex

This past weekend i went to a well known gay resort in Orlando where gay men gather, sun bathe, party, cruise and have lots of sex.  i only cruised for sex!

Saturday night i met five…yes, five men.  And i would say none were particularly good at sex.

#1, a guy from Tennessee came as soon as we laid down naked on the bed with me giving him just a little manual stimulation.  That was a shame cuz i thought he was going to be fun.  He was embarrassed.  We talked a short time and he left.

#2, a Latino man of very few words only wanted his big uncut dick sucked.  He came, said thank you, and left.

#3, a Latino man who spoke little English immediately requested a condom, which i surprisingly did not have.  So he kept saying, “no, don’t touch.”  No oral.  No kissing.  He opted for frottage with me face down and him humping my back.  He came.  i asked him in Spanish if he had a wife and what was his name.  As he left he said my Spanish was good.

#4, a young white guy too drunk but bearish and cute, so i let him in.  i asked what he wanted as he came in, and he said, “you!”  He stumbled around taking his clothes off.  Then got on his knees, head down, butt up on the bed wanting me, i suppose, to fuck him. Well, being a bottom boy, not having a condom, and him really drunk i decided just to rim his ass.  Then he fell onto his side so i sucked his dick.  He suddenly jumped up, got dressed hurriedly and left my room without a word.

#5, was actually at 4:00 am Sunday morning.  A white guy, full beard, tatted up, and quite gregarious.  He came the closest to actually having sex/making love with me.  We kissed, caressed, i stroked his sexy, soft beard.  Sucked his dick.  Then, he wanted to fuck me.  i really wanted it too.  But, my history of radiation resulting in anal scar tissue prevented me from being penetrated.  It caused horrible pain just to have his dick head inside.  Every thrust to go deeper felt like a huge red hot fire poker being jammed in my ass.  So, he gave up and wanted me to grasp his cock tightly with both hands and rapidly and almost violently masturbate him.  That was the only way he could cum.  Then, he gave me a song and dance story: war veteran, horrible childhood, down on his luck, and the person who brought him there had deserted him.  He had no way home.  Could i possibly give him $$$ for Uber back to where he was staying.  Of course i gave him money.  Was it payment for sex?  Was it just a monetary transaction not having anything to do with the sex?  After he left i used a towel to remove the lube, and was surprised to see blood on it from him trying to fuck me.

Y/you might have noticed in my discussion of each scenario i never mentioned my dick being touched, or sucked.  Or that i ever came.  And the only reason i was going to get fucked is because that’s how he wanted to get off.  It had nothing to do with meeting my sexual needs.

What happened to fore play?  What happened to give and take?  What happened to taking care of your partner’s needs as well as Y/your own?

Being a sub i understand my role in a D/s scene, but these were vanilla sex encounters.  i suppose next time i will need to take care of my needs – take matters in my own hands as it were, while i am working to satisfy my partner(s).

Maybe someday i will find a regular FB who cares about my erection and orgasm as much as His own!  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Hurricane Irma, FUCK YOU BITCH!

We in Florida can use Y/your prayers during this catastrophic storm.  Thank you,

Pup Play

This article was borrowed from a recent Tumblr posting.

Pup Play FAQ

The past several months I’ve had individuals contact me regarding what pup play is from my perspective, and to ask for more resources. Instead of typing it out every time and trying to find the resources I have, I’m just putting it on here so I can share it easily. If someone thinks something should be added/changed/fixed, let me know. I’d rather be corrected so the info on here is reliable and available.

So what is Pup play:

The short answer:
It’s exactly as it sounds. Someone wanting to play the role of (role play) a puppy: on all fours, wagging, barking, playing with toys, eating out of dog bowls, etc.

The longer answer:
Pup play is a form of pet play (animal role play), where an individual wants to take on the role of a puppy dog. This is done by role-playing a puppy, mimicking mannerisms: barking, wagging, begging, playing with toys, sniffing/licking things, eating out of bowls, etc.; for fun.

In the end it’s a fun release, getting into a shift in headspace, and only focusing about what is happening right now. Not what happened earlier, or what will come. Just being a pup in the here and now. That headspace is all about trying to think like a dog and rely more on instinct rather than the complexities of human thought and aspirations.

What pup play is not:

First and foremost, pup play is not about bestiality – no sexual activity involving real bio (biological) dogs. Pup play is also not about humiliation. Most pups do not get into pup for the humiliation factor. They get into pup because it’s fun and a great release. However, while someone may be a pup, they may also be part of, or like other kinks, fetishes, and communities as well. Finally, pup play is not just about sex. While pup play can be a sex positive experience, where the subject of sex is not looked down on. Sex is not the sole purpose of pet play or pup play. It just depends on the nature of the relationship with the pup and/or any other parties involved.

Terms:

Below are a few terms that are used within the pup community. I’ve noticed that some people define these differently, this is just my own generic definitions:

Pup – A person acting the part of a puppy within pup-play.
Alpha – A pup who is a leader in a pack or over other pup(s). This is normally a leadership/guidance role.
Owner – Someone who owns a pup or a pack (multiple pups).
Handler – Someone who is handling a pup on a leash.
PAH – (Puppy and Handler) Is normally a regional/local group specifically for human puppies, handlers, and those interested in pup play.
Biopup/Biodog – Refers to an actual biological dog.
Headspace (pup-space or pupping out) – Is the carefree mental state that happens when in pup play. It’s focusing on living in the moment, and acting with your surroundings on instinct, like a dog would. Putting your own thoughts, fears, ambitions, etc. aside for a time.
Moshing – A puppy mosh, mosh pit, or just mosh, is normally when a group of pups get together and pup out. Most of the time it’s done in a specific area (roped off or matted) for the sole purpose of pupping out.
There are other terms out there and definitions. I suggest reading other resources to learn more about them and/or how others define those terms. There are other resources at the end of this.

Is any gear required to get started:

No, being a pup requires no gear. It’s a mental state and purely up to the individual on how they want to pup. I do recommend at least some basic safety gear for comfort. Mainly due to being on all fours on the floor, they can either be hard on your knuckles and knees, or can give you rug burn, depending on the surfaces you are crawling around on. Some basic knee pads and cheap MMA practice mitts make perfect gear to start out with. But, while I recommend some gear for comfort, I want to repeat this. Gear is never required to be a pup. Below are a few other things you can look at.
Collars – I’ve seen two forms of thought on it. Some say pups should wear a collar and their owner/alpha/handler will give them tags. Others say collars should be given by an owner/alpha/handler. Personally, if a collar will help you get into headspace, go for it! In the end if you get a cheap collar and your owner/alpha/handler wants to give you a more expensive collar and/or tags, you can always switch to using theirs. Again, no one is making the rules on this except you.
Toys – Toys can really make pupping out fun, even by yourself. Think of a real puppy and them playing with chew toys. They can entertain themselves for a long while. Just keep it simple and cheap, soft chew toys are all you need. Though I caution playing with hard chew toys (rawhide, hard plastic, etc.). Human teeth are not the same as bio dog teeth.
Hoods/Muzzles – Hoods and muzzles are good to help a pup get into headspace. They also afford a pup the security of anonymity, which can help a pup when in public places. It also helps a pup look more the part, which again, helps with getting into that puppy headspace; but, by no means required. If starting out, there are cheap options out there, you don’t have to drop $150-230+ on a hood if you are not sure pup-play is your thing.
Any other gear that is out there is there for aesthetic purposes. It can help pups get more into that pup headspace. But, again, it is not required. When starting out, I suggest going cheap. Don’t invest into something you are just going to try out if you are not sure this is something you are going stick with. You can get cheap mitts, kneepads, collar, toys, and a hood/mask for under to around $100. If it’s something after a time, you enjoy, you can always invest and upgrade to better gear.

How do I get started:

A lot of times, starting out, people over think it. Try dropping down on all fours and sniffing around, viewing your surrounds on all fours, and starting to think like a puppy. You might want to get on YouTube and watch some videos on how puppies/dogs act. Or, read the numerous dog training resources that are out there on the internet to get some background on training puppies/dogs to give you better insight on how puppies/dogs behave.
Choosing a puppy name and or breed:
Choosing a name is purely up to the individual and or owner/pup relationship. Names can always be changed to best suit a pup. So if you choose a name and get an owner who changes it to something more suiting, nothing is wrong with that. Again, pup is purely defined on your terms.
Breed is the same way; it’s purely up to the pups’ discretion as to what breed they choose if one at all. Let me be clear, you do not need to have a breed to be a pup. It’s just flavor, a bit of color to the experience. If you are looking into a breed, look at the traits certain breeds have, that align closely with how you feel. And, you don’t have to pick a breed due to your body type. I know a huge guy that looks like a linebacker 6’+ tall, that’s a Chihuahua. I know a very small guy who’s a St. Bernard. It’s just flavor to help you identify more as a pup.

Other Resources:

Take this and any other resource with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong way to be a pup. There isn’t a rule book that states there is a specific way to do something, or set standards that has to be followed – other than common sense. These are just my answers. This and all other resources are just guides to help you. I can’t stress this enough, however you pup, so long as you are happy and comfortable, go for it.
And, I wholeheartedly suggest getting out and involved with a Puppy or PAH (puppy and handlers) group in your area. You can read all you like, but actually interacting with other pups in the community, you gain a wealth of knowledge by actually participating. You may also want to look at your local Leather/BDSM community, which is normally pretty accepting of puppy play and will have resources for you to help you out.
Below are other resources on puppy 101 – beginning stuff to read into. I highly recommend reading these resources and any others out there to get ideas to figure out how you want to pup.

Resources on pup play:

Other online guides, sites, and books:
Woof! – Perspectives into the Erotic Care & Training of the Human Dog
Puppy 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy Moshing 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy 101 NEPUPS
Azure-Chaos – Caring for your Human-Pup
SiriusPup
International Puppy Contest
Puppy Bill of Rights
Wikipedia – Animal Roleplay

Online Forums on Pup-Play:

Puppy 101 Facebook page
Pup Zone – For guys into dog/pup roleplay
The Kennel – A Social Network for Human Pups and Their Masters

Gear:

The Happy Pup – Gpup’s Puppy Play & Pup Play Gear Guide
Info on Pup play and Pup play Gear
Mr. S Leather
Look under the puppy section on the left menu.
GRR Bear-Masks
Great handmade masks without breaking your budget. The owner will work with you to create a mask custom for you.
Rubber Dawg – Custom rubber hoods
The Well Kept Pet – Custom Leather Pet Play Masks
Dog House Leathers
The link is to their “Puppy Stuff” page
Fetish Zone
Has a lot of kinky stuff on their site, including a pup play section, as well as a pony play section

Now go out and get your puppy on…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Real Online LDR or Real Prick Tease

My marriage is not perfect, but whose is?  We’ve only been officially married 2 1/2 years, but have been together 37 years.  As i related in a previous post we had a drastic estrangement last September when it came out how deeply i was integrating into the Leather BDSM Kink lifestyle. 

Over the years i have been told repeatedly by a series of therapists to end my relationship because of codependence and ongoing difficulties between us.   However, i couldn’t leave, and didn’t want to.  There was love, friendship, companionship, compatibility, lots of history with both ups and downs, illnesses, near deaths for each of us, many family member’s deaths, and most of our friends had died of AIDS.  And of course the codependence!

The major thing missing from my life and needs seemed to be a healthy (and kinky) sex life.  But now, i feel i need a deep emotional and passionate relationship to go with the hot sex life.

For years i have been on many gay hookup sites looking for those brief anonymous, wild and passionate hookups.  Unfortunately, it mostly ended up just being picture perusal and an occasional chat, but very seldom any hookups.

Last week a new app notice appeared in my email inbox, so i thought i would give it a try.  Within a couple of hours of getting the app & submitting my profile, my first email arrived. It was from a handsome man, 52 years old, BUT he lives in another country. His message was very sweet and special so i responded.  i have to say i also got a dozen more messages from guys all over the world that i deleted immediately.  

This man, a doctor – he says – and i have texted several times daily every since we first met.  Some of his story made me wonder if he is being truthful.  According to him he is in a special military unit as a doctor – an email was sent to me from a medical related email, so i tend to believe that. Yesterday he said he was being sent to a middle eastern war zone country  – and then later he texted his google location, & sure enough it shows he is there in the thick of the fighting. Yipes!

i look forward to each text.  i am fearing for his life.  i am praying he returns to the safety of his home country soon.

The big caveat  – he has proclaimed his love for me already and states he wants to be together and that the distance can be overcome if there is enough desire to continue the relationship. 

So, i am having an emotional affair. It feels much different from the infrequent sexual hookups i was having.  i am not saying i feel guilty, but i worry that i could end up being a prick tease for my doctor/soldier/lover man.  I have not told him about my relationship status, physical problems or HIV status, but he hasn’t asked either.

i have fantasized about moving to his European country escaping my current life.  But, i know, well…i think i know it is just a fantasy.  i do not want to hurt my husband.  I couldn’t move to another country while my father is still living. Of course, we would have to meet in person to test compatibility, sexual compatibility, and see if he truly has a BDSM side as he indicated in his online profile. He did say he is versatile and tends more submissive.  Hummm. 

Tell me now, am i in fantasyland? Could it really work out?  Am i infatuated?  Is it budding love?  Am i wanting an escape route? Or am i being a prick tease?  

Y/you can be honest.  What do you think?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Dungeon Party or Sex Party

Y/you may remember that i mentioned i was going to my first Dungeon Party.  Well it happened last night.  

i was excited but trying to not have too many unreasonable expectations.  i tried to be ok with playing or not playing…whatever happened would be okay.  i got dressed in my usual leather…boots, belt, vest, wrist band, 501 Levi jeans, and my hunter green bandana – right, back jeans pocket.   The look is complete!  Fresh haircut so i looked good and ready for my debut into the world of Dungeon Parties.

Since my club was co-sponsoring i got there early to help set up the bar and patio area.  An assortment of men started arriving 30-40 minutes before opening time.  But, where were the handsome, masculine Doms?  But, it did look like it would be a good turnout. 

i was excited to watch the Men arrive in all manner of dress and undress.  Since most of them were only wearing jocks, harnesses and boots it was hard to tell the Doms from the subs…or as i found out later, it was hard to tell the tops from the bottoms.  No flags because no back pockets.   Wrist and arm bands seemed only for decoration. Who were the Doms?  Where were the Doms?

i stayed on the patio area for a couple hours before i built up my confidence and courage to make a foray into the “dungeon”.  All i saw was plain ole sex.  Sucking, fucking, rimming. Where was the BDSM? Was a Dungeon party simply a sex party? Of course i watched a while taking in all the images.  But it didn’t really turn me on.  i was mostly frustrated.

Surprisingly most of the Men there were my age plus or minus 10 years.  The exception was a handsome, young sub that took his clothes off and got up in a sling.  Quickly he was surrounded by a sea of horny guys wanting to have their turn with him. There were erections that never went down — umm, chemically induced?  Nothing wrong with that, but a constant erection for hours is interesting to see and watch. Envious?  Maybe i was?  Yup, i was!

When i came out from my excursion there was a boy bound to the cross. The Dom was using a cigar to stimulate the sub’s nipples, his chest and abdomen. Then he began tapping the boy’s balls with a paddle alternating the intensity with each tap.  After a while the boy was turned around, re-bound to the cross and the flogging and spanking began. Very exciting to watch but felt a bit envious of the boy. Shoulda been me!

Later i learned that was one of two Demos.  The second demo was a really intense flogging and paddling scene. The sub stripped down to his jock and boots and was flogged and paddled for what seemed like a very long time.  In fact i got tired and decided to go home.  It was only 11:15 pm.  As i walked toward my car i could still hear that sub’s moans of pain & pleasure.

The next day i asked if all the Dungeon Parties at this venue were like this one.  The answer was yes, “they are mostly about the sex.”  “There are a lot of guys who come just for the sex.  That’s they’re thing.  They’re not into the BDSM at all.”

Sad.  Disappointed.  Where were the “real” Leather BDSM lifestyle Men/boys?

The search continues…

Shame on Y/you!

When i was a little boy, probably four or five years old, i was playing “doctor” with a boy who lived next door.  Don’t even know how i knew about surgery but we were pretending the zipper in our pants was an incision and cotton balls should be stuffed into the opening.  We were so naive that we were doing it in my front yard.  

Who knew at five years old that playing with the neighbor boy’s penis was wrong?  My mother saw what was going on and beat the shit out of me saying, “don’t you ever let me catch you doing that again!”  She didn’t realize that i focused on the word “catch” and carried that thought, fear and judgment most of the rest of my life.  She taught me to be ashamed of my body, my desires, my playfulness, and taught me that i shouldn’t get caught doing it.  

She didn’t catch me ever again.  But she did instill shame…a feeling i have lived with and worked on in therapy for years.  i was so suppressed sexually that i went underground to the places that most people classify as seedy, trashy, and maybe even disgusting.  i sought out sex anywhere and everywhere it could be found.  Adult bookstores were my go to places.  Loved glory hole action.  But it’s not the kind of thing you proudly proclaim to your friends – I sucked off five guys last night at the peep show.  

Also there were treks to the wooded area of the large city park where men who wanted a quickie  with another man would meander for hours cruising the bushes.  There were days when i would be pulled to go to the Public Library where the second floor bathroom was usually active.  Or the bathroom in the Humanities building at the university could be another option.  All this covert and shaming sexual activity came together over time making me label myself as a sex addict – medicating myself with dick to overcome sadness, low self esteem, depression, loneliness.  Who knows if it is a true addiction, but my sexual activities led to enormous feelings of shame and guilt, that in turn had to be medicated with even more dick.

i only got off that viscous merry-go-round when i got really sick.  But, the shame continued until recently, when i realized i was no longer full of shame for having been a bookstore queen.  How did that happen?  It just did!  i suppose with age came self forgiveness.  But, oh those years of angst and depression…what a waste of time.

Now as i work to come out as a Leatherboy i am having some feelings of fear, embarrassment, apprehension, and self doubt.  i don’t want to be labeled, judged, or pigeon-holed as a freak because i am drawn to intense sensation play, impact play, power exchange, submission and other forms of BDSM and Kink.  i want to be accepted for every bit of who I am including the kinky parts.

i feel like that five year old boy again afraid of being caught doing what arouses intense pleasure in me.  But, this time i am not afraid of getting a spanking; i relish the idea.  My fear now is a fear of being ostracized, separated from the people in my life that i love the most.

i have a question for you, my readers:  how do Y/you or did Y/you work through feelings of fear, apprehension, embarrassment and self doubt as Y/you explored Y/your proclivities for BDSM/Kink?  Have Y/you come out to friends or family, or do Y/you keep this part of Y/your true nature hidden from all but other Kinksters?
Thank you for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 13

Sex and submission?  Now we’re talking!

Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

While it may be the dream of most submissives to be a sex slave available anytime your Dom wants, it really isn’t that practical for subs or their Doms for that matter.  One must take into account the likelihood of differing libidos.  Also important are the additional responsibilities of the sub such as full time work outside the home, housework, cooking, caring for children, and serving the Dom as He deserves.  It is hard to be available for sex when you are physically and emotionally drained by the end of each day.  It is hard also for gay men to be completely “clean” 24/7 in anticipation of Him wanting sex.  

It is my hope that i would be able to respond sensuously every time He made a sexual move or made a request, or just pressed His erect penis against me.  That would be my goal.  But, meeting His every need anytime He wants it would be most difficult for most subs.

But, yes sexual availability is a part of my submission.
Why or why not?

It is my belief that the sub should be able to meet all the needs of his Dom including sexual availability. subs don’t sign on for doing tasks and caring for the Dom only when they feel like it.  Personally i wouldn’t think it appropriate to tell your Dom that you’ll do the dishes, or feed the dogs/children, take out the garbage or even satisfying Him tomorrow because you don’t feel like doing it now.
Are there limits to this?

Extreme fatigue or illness would limit the ability of the sub to fulfill this duty.  Otherwise i believe every sub should strive for sexual availability anytime their Dom wants it.

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday 

Today i am only writing an addendum to last Monday’s post on anal fisting.  i left out critical information for those of you who are new to the idea of anal sex or anal fisting.  And that is the importance of properly cleaning out the lower colon and rectum inside the anus.

No one, well…most people would not want there to be any accidents or surprises with fecal material appearing in the middle of Y/your play session.

The best thing i did was to read and watch videos about preparing for anal sex.  But, just to introduce the topic a bit, basically what i do is moderate my diet/food intake about 6 to 12 hours before the expected play time.  i don’t over eat and don’t eat bulky foods or foods that produce a lot of intestinal gas.

i use an enema bag with warm water… not hot!  Lubricate the nozzle and insert the nozzle a few inches into the rectum and slowly let the water run by gravity into the lower colon and rectal area. i hold the water as long as i can then expel it into the toliet. i repeat a couple times with small amounts of water until the water is clear of fecal matter when expelled.  i do this about 3 hours before the date.  Then, i repeat the process about an hour later with a small amount of water to clean out any stool that was brought down by the movement of the intestines and the initial enemas done previously.  i only do it once this time with a small amount of water. Doing this enough time before the date will allow any excess water to absorb into the body so water is not expelled during the play.

Some people use a saline enema that can be purchased in a pharmacy or most grocery stores.  The benefit is that it is small, predetermined amount of water and it contains a solution that assists with cleaning out the rectum.  i use these sometimes but i feel like i am not “clean” enough for anal sex after a saline enema.  But that’s just me.

Now, this is something else i do but i am not recomending it or telling you to follow what i do.

I take a couple anti diarrhea pills before the “date.”  This seems to help slow down the peristolsis, or rhythmical movement of the intestine, that pushes the stool toward the rectum.  i might be a bit constipated the next day, but at least i didn’t poop on my Dom!

And of course shower and thoroughly clean the area with lots of soapy water.

This is probably more information than you ever wanted to know, but it is imperative for any submissive or bottom boy to learn to completely empty the rectum before playing.

If Y/you have any questions please feel free to ask.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

A Kinky boy in a Vanilla World

i just got home from an evening out on the town to celebrate my husband’s birthday.  i dressed in nice vanilla drag…i mean dress casual with my new black jeans on.  Of course i wanted to fit in with our friends who dress gay casual…jeans, tee shirt, and sneakers.  But i had to honor my kinky side by wearing my wide black leather belt and a jock strap.  Instead of my combat boots i wore black leather dress shoes.  

First we went to dinner at a very expensive restaurant where the food was fantastic.  Then, we went bar hopping to 3 different gay establishments.  One was what we in the gay community have always called an S & M bar….meaning stand and model.  Everyone looked basically the same.  Jeans, sneakers and tee shirt, muscles and little to no body hair.  But there were a few guys dressed up in their best gay GQ getups looking all out of place with their brightly colored eyeglass frames, blazer jackets, dress shorts or slacks, and of course a fedora cocked on their heads.  These GQ guys looked as out of place as I felt in this club.  

Next, we walked down the street a bit and went into a piano bar.  It was subdued and gaudy with everything being stark white, even the piano, except lots of faux silver candelabras on every flat surface in the bar, and some even hung on the walls.   Each candle had that fluttering flame shaped piece of material with the orange light that kinda makes it look like a real lit candle.  This place was t-a-c-k-y!  It was filled with “older” gentlemen in their fine preppy clothes.  The pianist was a campy gay guy who was extremely enthusiastic as he sang, but had a little glint of crazy about him.  We just stood there for a couple tribute songs to singer George Michael. We didn’t even get a drink.  Then we scurried down the street (it was a frigid 58 degrees in South Florida) to another bar.

This was a dance bar.  Two levels and two separate rooms – one a bar where you could actually hear the people talking and the other a bar with a dance floor filled with big hairy men, little hairy men, and some men in leather.  All ages were represented .  I think there was an octogenarian with his shirt off, leather harness on, tight blue jeans and wildly dancing, like he was 30 years old again.  He was having a fantastic time.

 It must have been Bear night, or even Leather or fetish night.  The Bears, Leathermen and leatherboys in their harnesses, boots, vests and tight jeans were so hot.  We stayed quite a while; i couldn’t get my eyes filled enough with the images i am so comfortable with and attracted to.  Hot sweaty masculine men packed the dance floor.  Gyrating, men cruising other men, and smiling, and singing along with the music videos…having the best time ever.   

It’s great to be alive!

i could smell that familiar musky, sweaty, cigar smoke covered manhood before me.  i just wanted some big burly hairy Dom to carry me out to his F-150 and drive me to his dungeon.  

i did not want to leave this bar!  Really i wanted the three people i was with to leave and let me stay to drink in the images and smells of hyper-masculinity. Ah, fantasies keep me hopeful that one day  it all will become a reality.

How do i cope with living in a vanilla world?

Great question!  i seem to have two separate identities conjoined at the heart with no one on either side knowing the real totality of me…the true person i am in my heart.  i live two lives.  There is my Leatherboy, BDSM/Kink personality that likes Leather bars, dungeons, playrooms, XXX movies, Pro Doms, erotic massages, sex in risky places and the pain/pleasure that comes with it all.  i do all that as covertly as possible.  However, i have stopped hiding my bags of kinky toys at home.  

Then, there is the vanilla personality. he stays home doing the dishes, straightening up the house, caring for the animals, paying bills and attending religious services every week albeit in a gay church.  he wears clothes to fit in to the mainstream gay community.  he sits home most nights watching television.  But, he secretly checks hookup apps that cater to his kind of men and his preferred activities, writing my Blog on his IPad, or even texting Pro Doms and potential sex partners.  Sex, BDSM and kink ever present in his mind.

That’s my story for today.  These are my/his struggles daily.  Still searching for the answer to be revealed about how i can blend my personality with His to become one authentic person living proudly as a leatherboy.

I’d love to hear how you cope with the dichotomy.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray