Surge – a Leather Weekend

It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.

Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities.  And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.

As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days.  On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck.  The post operative pain was excruciating.  Not the incision…it’s been perfect.  The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms.  i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.

So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.

Details to follow after i return from Surge.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

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Pup Play

This article was borrowed from a recent Tumblr posting.

Pup Play FAQ

The past several months I’ve had individuals contact me regarding what pup play is from my perspective, and to ask for more resources. Instead of typing it out every time and trying to find the resources I have, I’m just putting it on here so I can share it easily. If someone thinks something should be added/changed/fixed, let me know. I’d rather be corrected so the info on here is reliable and available.

So what is Pup play:

The short answer:
It’s exactly as it sounds. Someone wanting to play the role of (role play) a puppy: on all fours, wagging, barking, playing with toys, eating out of dog bowls, etc.

The longer answer:
Pup play is a form of pet play (animal role play), where an individual wants to take on the role of a puppy dog. This is done by role-playing a puppy, mimicking mannerisms: barking, wagging, begging, playing with toys, sniffing/licking things, eating out of bowls, etc.; for fun.

In the end it’s a fun release, getting into a shift in headspace, and only focusing about what is happening right now. Not what happened earlier, or what will come. Just being a pup in the here and now. That headspace is all about trying to think like a dog and rely more on instinct rather than the complexities of human thought and aspirations.

What pup play is not:

First and foremost, pup play is not about bestiality – no sexual activity involving real bio (biological) dogs. Pup play is also not about humiliation. Most pups do not get into pup for the humiliation factor. They get into pup because it’s fun and a great release. However, while someone may be a pup, they may also be part of, or like other kinks, fetishes, and communities as well. Finally, pup play is not just about sex. While pup play can be a sex positive experience, where the subject of sex is not looked down on. Sex is not the sole purpose of pet play or pup play. It just depends on the nature of the relationship with the pup and/or any other parties involved.

Terms:

Below are a few terms that are used within the pup community. I’ve noticed that some people define these differently, this is just my own generic definitions:

Pup – A person acting the part of a puppy within pup-play.
Alpha – A pup who is a leader in a pack or over other pup(s). This is normally a leadership/guidance role.
Owner – Someone who owns a pup or a pack (multiple pups).
Handler – Someone who is handling a pup on a leash.
PAH – (Puppy and Handler) Is normally a regional/local group specifically for human puppies, handlers, and those interested in pup play.
Biopup/Biodog – Refers to an actual biological dog.
Headspace (pup-space or pupping out) – Is the carefree mental state that happens when in pup play. It’s focusing on living in the moment, and acting with your surroundings on instinct, like a dog would. Putting your own thoughts, fears, ambitions, etc. aside for a time.
Moshing – A puppy mosh, mosh pit, or just mosh, is normally when a group of pups get together and pup out. Most of the time it’s done in a specific area (roped off or matted) for the sole purpose of pupping out.
There are other terms out there and definitions. I suggest reading other resources to learn more about them and/or how others define those terms. There are other resources at the end of this.

Is any gear required to get started:

No, being a pup requires no gear. It’s a mental state and purely up to the individual on how they want to pup. I do recommend at least some basic safety gear for comfort. Mainly due to being on all fours on the floor, they can either be hard on your knuckles and knees, or can give you rug burn, depending on the surfaces you are crawling around on. Some basic knee pads and cheap MMA practice mitts make perfect gear to start out with. But, while I recommend some gear for comfort, I want to repeat this. Gear is never required to be a pup. Below are a few other things you can look at.
Collars – I’ve seen two forms of thought on it. Some say pups should wear a collar and their owner/alpha/handler will give them tags. Others say collars should be given by an owner/alpha/handler. Personally, if a collar will help you get into headspace, go for it! In the end if you get a cheap collar and your owner/alpha/handler wants to give you a more expensive collar and/or tags, you can always switch to using theirs. Again, no one is making the rules on this except you.
Toys – Toys can really make pupping out fun, even by yourself. Think of a real puppy and them playing with chew toys. They can entertain themselves for a long while. Just keep it simple and cheap, soft chew toys are all you need. Though I caution playing with hard chew toys (rawhide, hard plastic, etc.). Human teeth are not the same as bio dog teeth.
Hoods/Muzzles – Hoods and muzzles are good to help a pup get into headspace. They also afford a pup the security of anonymity, which can help a pup when in public places. It also helps a pup look more the part, which again, helps with getting into that puppy headspace; but, by no means required. If starting out, there are cheap options out there, you don’t have to drop $150-230+ on a hood if you are not sure pup-play is your thing.
Any other gear that is out there is there for aesthetic purposes. It can help pups get more into that pup headspace. But, again, it is not required. When starting out, I suggest going cheap. Don’t invest into something you are just going to try out if you are not sure this is something you are going stick with. You can get cheap mitts, kneepads, collar, toys, and a hood/mask for under to around $100. If it’s something after a time, you enjoy, you can always invest and upgrade to better gear.

How do I get started:

A lot of times, starting out, people over think it. Try dropping down on all fours and sniffing around, viewing your surrounds on all fours, and starting to think like a puppy. You might want to get on YouTube and watch some videos on how puppies/dogs act. Or, read the numerous dog training resources that are out there on the internet to get some background on training puppies/dogs to give you better insight on how puppies/dogs behave.
Choosing a puppy name and or breed:
Choosing a name is purely up to the individual and or owner/pup relationship. Names can always be changed to best suit a pup. So if you choose a name and get an owner who changes it to something more suiting, nothing is wrong with that. Again, pup is purely defined on your terms.
Breed is the same way; it’s purely up to the pups’ discretion as to what breed they choose if one at all. Let me be clear, you do not need to have a breed to be a pup. It’s just flavor, a bit of color to the experience. If you are looking into a breed, look at the traits certain breeds have, that align closely with how you feel. And, you don’t have to pick a breed due to your body type. I know a huge guy that looks like a linebacker 6’+ tall, that’s a Chihuahua. I know a very small guy who’s a St. Bernard. It’s just flavor to help you identify more as a pup.

Other Resources:

Take this and any other resource with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong way to be a pup. There isn’t a rule book that states there is a specific way to do something, or set standards that has to be followed – other than common sense. These are just my answers. This and all other resources are just guides to help you. I can’t stress this enough, however you pup, so long as you are happy and comfortable, go for it.
And, I wholeheartedly suggest getting out and involved with a Puppy or PAH (puppy and handlers) group in your area. You can read all you like, but actually interacting with other pups in the community, you gain a wealth of knowledge by actually participating. You may also want to look at your local Leather/BDSM community, which is normally pretty accepting of puppy play and will have resources for you to help you out.
Below are other resources on puppy 101 – beginning stuff to read into. I highly recommend reading these resources and any others out there to get ideas to figure out how you want to pup.

Resources on pup play:

Other online guides, sites, and books:
Woof! – Perspectives into the Erotic Care & Training of the Human Dog
Puppy 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy Moshing 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy 101 NEPUPS
Azure-Chaos – Caring for your Human-Pup
SiriusPup
International Puppy Contest
Puppy Bill of Rights
Wikipedia – Animal Roleplay

Online Forums on Pup-Play:

Puppy 101 Facebook page
Pup Zone – For guys into dog/pup roleplay
The Kennel – A Social Network for Human Pups and Their Masters

Gear:

The Happy Pup – Gpup’s Puppy Play & Pup Play Gear Guide
Info on Pup play and Pup play Gear
Mr. S Leather
Look under the puppy section on the left menu.
GRR Bear-Masks
Great handmade masks without breaking your budget. The owner will work with you to create a mask custom for you.
Rubber Dawg – Custom rubber hoods
The Well Kept Pet – Custom Leather Pet Play Masks
Dog House Leathers
The link is to their “Puppy Stuff” page
Fetish Zone
Has a lot of kinky stuff on their site, including a pup play section, as well as a pony play section

Now go out and get your puppy on…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

My Dungeon of Despair 

Still waters run deep is a saying i have heard since i was a young fellow – maybe early teens.  In the weeks since i last posted many things began swirling in my mind and body.  i realize that on the surface I tend to appear calm, peaceful, passive and shy, but my true spirit runs deep in my soul.  

i noticed that without a Dom Leather BDSM life can be downright boring if not nonexistent.  i have tried to keep a connection online through FetLife, the Leather Kink site Recon.com, and even on the site Adam4Adam.com which occasionally has some kinky men online.  i wear my leather wrist band all the time except showering or doing dishes.  It’s a constant reminder of who i am, and where i want to be.

my therapist keeps hitting me with the earth shaking idea of separating from my partner of many, many years.  He keeps pointing out the codependent nature of the relationship, the subtle yet harmful ways the partner’s actions and inactions could be considered domestic abuse even though there has never been physical abuse.  It tends more toward emotional, psychological, and financial.  The codependent in me will not let me make that leap even though it would probably be for the best.  So, the therapist wants me to fill out a grid with the pros and cons of leaving on top and the pros and cons of not leaving on bottom.  This is supposed to open my eyes wide enough to leap out of the marriage.  But, i will likely remain in my dungeon of despair no matter what the grid shows.

Still waters run deep…i keep everything suppressed.  Thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, fears, everything is smushed down and is held back with a giant valve.  Infrequently it lets off a bit of steam through bursts of anger, sarcasm, tears, or depression.  Then the valve gets tightened even more.  Some days i feel my head might explode because i am living a lie and lying to live peacefully.  i lie so much i don’t even know who knows what parts of me and my story are true — except you, my readers.

i long to live a life in leather.  To be collared.  To be an open, proud submissive.  To date, to cruise, to go out when i want to, to have sex when I want to, to have the friends i want to have, to invite my Leather friends to my house whenever i want to, to spend or save money the way i want/need to, to be able to be a nudist in my own home, to get an erotic massage occasionally, and just to masturbate when, how, and where i want to, and to eat when, where and what i want to.  Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Although i don’t see me having a big breakup scene, or just leaving unannounced someday i am working toward becoming a stronger person and taking a stand against the strong, but subtle control he has on me. Only time and a stronger ego can tell what may happen.

On a lighter, happier note i hired a Life Coach.  He is helping me set goals for my life, working with me to potentially enter a career that will not tax me physically.  He is holding me accountable to the goals we set at each call.  i am moving toward a career in Life Coaching as well.  Many coaches work via telephone or Skype or even Zoom conference rooms, so there would be no need for an office, or to commute or to hold a routine 8-5 schedule every day.  i am taking a course to become certified and hope to begin working as a coach in the next month or so.  Hope i get loads of Leatherfolk as clients!  i highly recommend Life Coaching if you are stuck in some aspect of your life.  
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Two Ways to Finding Y/your Authentic Self 

Becoming authentic is an individual mission, since each person has their own way of being human, and consequently what is authentic will be different for each individual. Furthermore, personal authenticity is highly contextual, and depends on various social, political, religious and cultural characteristics. But the unique nature of each individual is best seen not in who he is, but in who he becomes, and becoming authentic is a continuous process, not an event. It involves not just knowing oneself, but also recognizing others and the mutual influence between individuals. If the quest for personal authenticity is just for self-fulfillment, then it is individualistic and ego-based; but if it is accompanied with the awareness of others and the wider world, then it can be a worthwhile goal.     From Philosophy Now

Have you ever pondered, “who am I/i really?”  “Who is M/my authentic self?”

Well, i have many times over the years.  It seems as we grow and change, our relationships evolve or end, we move, and find new careers and new lovers, our authentic self changes too.  Authenticity seems to be a hard and never ending quest because people are continually evolving, growing and changing.

Finding Y/your authentic self is about being honest with Y/yourself, being self aware, being humble, and listening to feedback from others without getting hurt or defensive, and then internalizing the feedback that resonates with Y/you.  Those of Y/you who do seek a more authentic self will likely become a happier, and more creative person.  Also, some psychologists say authenticity can lead to improved coping strategies, a stronger sense of self worth, more self confidence, and a higher likelihood of following through on goals.

Don Miguel Ruiz writes in his book The Four Agreements that “our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

As soon as i read that statement i immediately thought about those of U/us living or attempting to live O/our authentic selves, what W/we really are – or are into (KINK or BDSM).  W/we in the Leather BDSM community reportedly have healthier relationships because of the degree to which we have open, honest communication between the people involved prior to establishing a formal relationship or agreeing to a play session.  For there to be open and honest communication Y/you hopefully have done some sort of personal inventory of Y/your life identifying Y/your wants, needs, desires, likes, preferences, and goals, as well as those things Y/you want to avoid, not experience or exclude from Y/your life.

In order for Y/you to begin identifying and understanding Y/your most significant personal values, i have included the list and exercises below:

Step 1: What I/i Value Most…

From this list of values (both work and personal), select the ten that are most important to Y/you – as guides for how to behave or as components of a valued way of life.  Feel free to add any values of Y/your own to the list.

Achievement                                                                Friendships                           Physical challenge

Advancement and promotion                                  Growth                                   Pleasure

Adventure                                                                     Having a family                  Power and authority

Affection (love and caring)                                       Helping other people         Privacy

Arts                                                                                Helping society                   Public service

Challenging problems                                               Honesty                                Purity

Change and variety                                                   Independence                    Quality of what I take part in

Close relationships                                                   Influencing others             Quality relationships

Community                                                                Inner harmony                  Recognition (respect from others, status)

Competence                                                               Integrity                             Religion

Competition                                                              Intellectual status             Reputation

Cooperation                                                              Involvement                     Responsibility and accountability

Country                                                                     Job tranquility                  Security

Creativity                                                                 Knowledge                         Self-Respect

Decisiveness                                                            Leadership                         Serenity

Democracy                                                              Location                              Sophistication

Ecological awareness                                           Loyalty                                 Stability

Economic security                                                Market position                 Status

Effectiveness                                                         Meaningful work              Supervising others

Efficiency                                                              Merit                                    Time freedom

Ethical practice                                                    Money                                 Truth

Excellence                                                             Nature                                 Wealth

Excitement                                                           being around people who
are open and honest        Wisdom 

Fame                                                                       Order (tranquility,

stability, conformity)             Work under pressure 

Fast living                                                            Personal development                                                     Work with others

Financial gain                     

Freedom                                                                                                                                                            Working alone

Step 2: Elimination

Now that Y/you have identified ten, imagine that Y/you are only permitted to have five values. Which five would Y/you give up? Cross them off.

Now imagine that Y/you are only permitted four. Which would Y/you give up? Cross it off.

Now cross off another, to bring Y/your list down to three.

And another, to bring Y/your list down to two.

Finally cross off one of Y/your two values. Which is the one item on the lst that Y/you care most about?

Another way of identifying Y/your authentic self, is to ask Y/yourself the following five questions:

  1. When Y/you were little, what did Y/you want to be when Y/you grew up?   W/we all had dreams when W/we were little, but people get sidetracked from T/their dreams by status, money, responsibility and life.  Picture Y/yourself in Y/your childhood dream.  Do Y/you see that smile and positive energy?  That could be Y/your life.
  2. What makes Y/you laugh?  Laugh at what Y/you find funny.  Who cares if the person next to Y/you is laughing.  Laughing feels good, makes U/us happier people and sets U/us free to enjoy the life W/we are living.  Laughter is a powerful tool that can change Y/your mood and perception of what is happening in the moment.  Enjoy the smile and the feeling of happiness rising inside of Y/you.
  3. What clothes do Y/you feel comfortable in?  This is a serious question.  It doesn’t matter if Y/you like dressing in suits every day or prefer cotton shirts and no shoes, wear what makes Y/you feel comfortable.  i am not suggesting Y/you run naked through the streets or Y/your office, but clothes are a way of expressing Y/yourself and what Y/you wear should be comfortable and should reflect the true Y/you.
  4. What activities do Y/you enjoy?  Discovering these activities will help guide Y/you towards a place where Y/you want to spend time.  By finding and immersing Y/yourself in this place, Y/you will feel happier and more energized.  Ultimately Y/you may find that Y/you want to work in that place, or at least create the possibility to spend more time there.
  5. Who can Y/you be Y/yourself around?  W/we are social creatures by nature, so it is important to spend time with people who make U/us feel good and accept U/us for who W/we really are.  When W/we are with people who do not judge U/us but accept U/us, then W/we are able to express O/our authentic self.

Once Y/you discover Y/your authentic self, Y/you can start to make changes in Y/your life that allow Y/you to be this person.  It is time to face those fears and start Y/your journey toward being Y/your authentic self.  Y/you will be astounded by how Y/your life can become fuller, richer, and happier.                   (Edited from http://www.mindbodygreen.com)

i have changed over the years but one thing has remained a constant even though for years it was a closeted self, so i can’t claim to have been living my authentic self.  That is my love and affinity and passion for the Leather BDSM/KINK community.  In my closet Days my fantasy men were leather clad masculine Doms.  i enjoyed it when a partner was more aggressive, rough, or Dominant.  i was really turned on by the slaps to the ass some men would deliver.  i knew who my authentic self was i was just not able to let him out at the time for various reasons.

my responses to the questions above:

i like men in leather and uniforms; i feel comfortable in Levi’s, boots, leather; i enjoy and feel more comfortable in masculine atmospheres like Leather bars and Leather BDSM gatherings and events; i like BDSM & Kink & Fetish activities; and i can most be myself – my real, authentic self around other Leather BDSM Men/boys.

Real Online LDR or Real Prick Tease

My marriage is not perfect, but whose is?  We’ve only been officially married 2 1/2 years, but have been together 37 years.  As i related in a previous post we had a drastic estrangement last September when it came out how deeply i was integrating into the Leather BDSM Kink lifestyle. 

Over the years i have been told repeatedly by a series of therapists to end my relationship because of codependence and ongoing difficulties between us.   However, i couldn’t leave, and didn’t want to.  There was love, friendship, companionship, compatibility, lots of history with both ups and downs, illnesses, near deaths for each of us, many family member’s deaths, and most of our friends had died of AIDS.  And of course the codependence!

The major thing missing from my life and needs seemed to be a healthy (and kinky) sex life.  But now, i feel i need a deep emotional and passionate relationship to go with the hot sex life.

For years i have been on many gay hookup sites looking for those brief anonymous, wild and passionate hookups.  Unfortunately, it mostly ended up just being picture perusal and an occasional chat, but very seldom any hookups.

Last week a new app notice appeared in my email inbox, so i thought i would give it a try.  Within a couple of hours of getting the app & submitting my profile, my first email arrived. It was from a handsome man, 52 years old, BUT he lives in another country. His message was very sweet and special so i responded.  i have to say i also got a dozen more messages from guys all over the world that i deleted immediately.  

This man, a doctor – he says – and i have texted several times daily every since we first met.  Some of his story made me wonder if he is being truthful.  According to him he is in a special military unit as a doctor – an email was sent to me from a medical related email, so i tend to believe that. Yesterday he said he was being sent to a middle eastern war zone country  – and then later he texted his google location, & sure enough it shows he is there in the thick of the fighting. Yipes!

i look forward to each text.  i am fearing for his life.  i am praying he returns to the safety of his home country soon.

The big caveat  – he has proclaimed his love for me already and states he wants to be together and that the distance can be overcome if there is enough desire to continue the relationship. 

So, i am having an emotional affair. It feels much different from the infrequent sexual hookups i was having.  i am not saying i feel guilty, but i worry that i could end up being a prick tease for my doctor/soldier/lover man.  I have not told him about my relationship status, physical problems or HIV status, but he hasn’t asked either.

i have fantasized about moving to his European country escaping my current life.  But, i know, well…i think i know it is just a fantasy.  i do not want to hurt my husband.  I couldn’t move to another country while my father is still living. Of course, we would have to meet in person to test compatibility, sexual compatibility, and see if he truly has a BDSM side as he indicated in his online profile. He did say he is versatile and tends more submissive.  Hummm. 

Tell me now, am i in fantasyland? Could it really work out?  Am i infatuated?  Is it budding love?  Am i wanting an escape route? Or am i being a prick tease?  

Y/you can be honest.  What do you think?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define Your Kink as a submissive  – Day 19

How socially connected is your submission?

my submission has become socially connected in several ways and is continually increasing.

Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? 

Yes, i actively seek out other subs to interact with and learn from.  i get and give support.  Last Saturday i even asked a Dom online if He would meet me for coffee so we can get to know each other and He may feel comfortable enough to sponsor me for the other BDSM Leather club. 

Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Yes, i happen to be on a handful of Facebook groups for BDSM & Kink oriented people.  They are very active groups as i get many emails daily. 

Also, i will be attending my first Dungeon Party soon and hope to learn, connect with others and perhaps play.

i believe i am rapidly growing into my role as a submissive. 

Question 20 is up next.  The 30 days will soon be done.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
Yes, very much.


How do you define service?
Service is doing those mundane menial chores that Sir needs to have done to free His mind and time from thinking about His to do list and actually taking His time to run those errands.  Service means anticipation of Sir’s needs to performing those tasks before He even has to think about them.

Service duties are, or should be, a part of the negotiations prior to entering into a D/s relationship.  This is the time to verbalized your limits in terms of being a service oriented submissive.  As i mentioned in an earlier post, i abhor housekeeping.  i don’t like mopping, vacuuming, or dusting hundreds of little tchotchkes.  i would negotiate for a cleaning service twice monthly to do the hard work and deep cleaning.

What does it mean to you?
Service means overtly showing your respect for your Dom by knowing what He routinely does or needs and taking care of it for Him.  To me it is the essence of being a submissive. 

If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?

N/A

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive  – Day 10

Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

This is a really difficult question to respond to.  First, i am not in a submissive “relationship” at this but if this question uses that term to include friends, Doms in the community, and acquaintances then i can say yes.  my interaction with any Dom is one of submissiveness.  However, there have been only a few actual BDSM play sessions. In those instances where i have been with a Dom, yes BDSM was always a major part of the interaction.  

i always treat Doms and Masters with the utmost respect.
How do you feel about BDSM?

As that jingle goes, “i like it, i love it, i want some more of it.”
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

i would say now it is peripheral.  It is on the sidelines waiting for those golden opportunities to actually play with a Dom.  In the meantime, i read, study, write my Blog posts, and associate with other subs in the hope that i will get more opportunities to play as i become more of a familiar face in the gay, Leather, BDSM, Kink community.

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday

This week i will be reaching a bit to do each of these activities justice.  Personally i have very limited experience with these. So, let’s begin…

Electricity 

i have experienced electricity play once.  The Dom i was playing with wanted me to experience several different types of play all in one session.  He inserted an electrified dildo up my butt, and increased the intensity slowly.  It felt alternatingly stimulating and then painful, and back again.  Not sure why put it kept popping out, so He would reinsert it.  He did that several times.  i was cuffed and blindfolded so the only thing i sensed was hearing and feeling.  There was nothing to smell or taste.  Then, all of a sudden there was a power surge and my asshole felt like a thousand knives were being shoved in and out pulsating rapidly.  It hurt so intensely that a safe word didn’t enter my mind.  i instantly jumped up as far as i could, pulled against the ankle and wrist cuffs, and yelled, “stop, stop, that hurts!”  By then He had turned it off.  i was afraid to try it again until i attended a class on electro play.  Now i am willing to try it, but will really need to trust that the Dom is extremely knowledgeable and experienced in opening the electrical system.

Examination (Physical/Medical Play)

Once i had an allergy doctor who i sensed was gay although he was married.  He was at least twenty five years older than me, and I was in my mid twenties at the time.  He asked about medical history and any health issues i might have.  i mentioned swollen lymph nodes in my groin.  He asked if he could examine me.  Of course i said yes; he was a sexy older man, and a doctor!  i lowered my pants and instantly got an erection.  With that response he lingered a bit longer than he probably should have, asking me questions, my pants around my ankles and a boner pointing right at him.  We made a connection and i returned several times to be examined and to even “examine” his big fat uncut dick.  

Doctor Play had always been a fantasy of mine, so every time i have a good looking doctor i try to get them to have me drop my pants.  Very hot fantasy…come true.


Exercise – Forced

This activity on the checklist is one i would not submit to.  Some Doms force their subs to workout very hard pushing beyond their limits.  This can be done as a form of punishment or when a Dom wants His sub to lose weight, bulk up, or just to exert control over His sub.  I don’t dislike working out, but know my limit…my point of muscle fatigue and can’t push beyond that point.  

Exhibitionism – Friends/Strangers

Exhibitionism involves risky behaviors that can be illegal if one exposes himself to strangers or has sex where strangers can see what is happening.  Exposing oneself to friends is not likely to lead to arrest. It most likely will be surprising, maybe titillating, or even a funny, laughable event.  

Exhibitionism of course does not have to include genital exposure or sex.  It could be anything that might be shocking, or provocative, or even gross and disgusting, or embarrassing.  

Personally i don’t mind my friends and associates/acquaintances to see my exhibitionism if they are open to it.  But that’s as far as i will go.  

Eye Contact Restriction

This activity is one i do a great deal when meeting or interacting with a Dom i do not know, or know well.  Some Doms will tell you to look at them, and others may tell you NOT to look them in the eyes.  With Doms i feel it is a sign of respect as a submissive.  However in my non Leather life i maintain eye contact very easily with everyone i speak with.  While this is my personal opinion and how i approach Doms, i have never had anyone in the lifestyle tell me what is expected or what is protocol in these situations.

Face Slapping

This is another form of impact play.  It can be done hard, or more softly, to get a subs attention or to correct behavior or for discipline.  i don’t mind being slapped just so it is not hard enough to loosen or knock out a tooth.  Previously i mentioned being hit in the face by a trick i played with repeatedly.  He didn’t slap…he used his fist.  Didn’t really like that much.

Farting 

Ok, i even hate the word fart.  To me it is crude and describes something i would just as soon not hear or smell coming out of me or anyone else.  But, it is a kink that some people have.  i suppose it is akin to the kink of scat play.  It’s not my kink, but if it is yours that’s great.

Fisting – Anal

i love anal play and nearly everything having to do with the ass.  i love getting fucked, fingered, and inserting various sizes of dildos.  i love rimming a hot man’s ass.  The one thing i have not accomplished anally is being fisted.  There has been three attempts.  None got much beyond several fingers.  i have read and been told it is the ultimate anal sensation.  Once you get fisted nothing else compares.  It has to be undertaken slowly and carefully, and preferably not while on drugs or being drunk.  Pain during fisting is likely at first but is an indicator that something needs to be adjusted.  More lube, slower, take a break, whatever.  Drugs and alcohol dampen sensations and you may not get a pain signal saying back off a bit for a while.  Real damage and injury can occur when fisting is undertaken with an inexperienced Top, or done too quickly, at the wrong angle, and without enough lube.  
Just want to say these are my opinions alone, and aren’t meant to pass judgment on any activity or on those who like activities that personally don’t with me.  
Have fun, be safe!