Late Night Musings

It’s 4:30 am.  Can’t sleep!  my mind is flooded with thoughts.  Why so much drama in all circles and aspects of life?  Not just mine. It seems everyone has drama or that there is always someone who stirs the drama pot for everyone around them.

i heard something yesterday about “someone” in another Leather club is making disparaging remarks about the boys of Leather club I belong to.  Anything negative about my club has to be an out and out lie because, although small, we raise funds and donate quite a bit of money to different non-profit agencies and organizations that provide services to children, animals, various illnesses including HIV/AIDS, and the Leather Archives and Museum.  We are a small, but cohesive group.  And i think most of us actually likes each other.

As a boys club we are by definition all boys.  we can’t or don’t offer BDSM play in or as a part of our meetings.  After all, who would be the Dom?  However, the other club does periodically offer demonstrations and play because their membership includes both boys and Doms.  i have been trying to become a member of that club as well, but it’s been a hard nut to crack.  So, i may just proudly stay a boys club member only.

The other day my boys club sponsored a team building, fun activity at an Escape Room.  It seems these are becoming popular all over the country.  This particular place offered four different themed rooms to choose from.  Our room involved a series of murders.  We were “locked” in a room for sixty minutes during which time we had to find and evaluate various clues, which, if done correctly, moved us closer to our goal of escaping.  Nine of us went, two emerged as principle or primary clue finders and decipherers.  i, for the most part, was left scratching my head.  i had difficulty connecting the dots.  Anyway, we did escape with 5 whole seconds to spare.  It was quite fun.  Leaders and followers emerged quickly.  One was a bit daffy.  One got irritable with the daffy boy.  But most worked together pretty well.  we emerged with glowing reviews and laughter, each saying they’d like to do it again.

It’s been just a week since i returned from my BDSM workshop.  It is quickly fading into memory with a return to real life.  The glow of the weekend and the intense sensation play are dimming.  i long for a repeat.  i long for something semi-permanent.  To be of service, to service, to offer myself for the gratification of Another…  However, i haven’t contacted the Dom i played with a couple weeks ago.  Too many things were obstacles for me, i suppose. The primary reason was the fact that the Dom was a sexual bottom.  my exclusionary criteria is low, but i do insist my Dom be a sexual Top.  i bottom.  That’s what i do.  That’s who i am!  

i keep thinking i will write about Abuse in Relationships, and i will.  Soon.  i just need to plant my feet securely to the ground once again.

boy stray